Saturday, August 1, 2015

My super annoying mother

Most people prob wants their mother to help them during confinement period...but I'm prob one of the few that absolutely do not want mine here because I know she will drive me crazy n prob induce post natal depression if she is here at that early stage. So I insisted on hiring a confinement lady instead even if it means a high expense. My Sanity is more impt here. I know my mum will irritate me to no end and as facts proven so, I was right. 

My mum asked to come visit and so after 2 months post birth having gotten hang of looking baby, I let her fly over. Big mistake coz I prob should have waited longer. My mum annoyed us pretty much almost 2 months of her stay here and she prob don't even realised how brash or annoying she had been. 

The whole thing already started off with wrong footing when the minute she arrived she started accusing me of no breast milk. I was like WTF is wrong with you. My baby is feeding well and he just fussing abit needing to burp and all u can say repeatedly like fucking chant is to question my milk supply AND my milk quality? To top it off, she insisted I Must feed a 2 month old baby formula milk or my baby will get sick?? Again WTF theory is that? 

So here I am, sleep deprived, and recovering from C section, doing housework and trying to feed baby, she was mouthing off the most insulting rubbish remarks she seemed as advice and pissing me off less than 24hr since her arrival. To add more irritation, when my baby was pursing his lips, she interpret that as sign of needing water. I told her NO, breastfeed baby do not need water because Breast milk is mainly fluid. She was trying and trying to "strongly suggest" to feed water until I have to raise my voice at her and carry baby away from her, thinking in my head the nitemare had started. 

Along the way for the following 2 months has been nothing but irritation. She keeps complaining about my confinement lady. She thinks she MDM K only looked after few babies knows better than someone who looked after over 50 babies??? 

When my baby started crying during bath time with my CL, I was abit concerned n so I googled for other mum experiences. Some said their baby prefer warmer water, need to cover wrap them with swaddle and go feet down to make them secure. So I did process of elimination and tried step of step to see which point was scaring my baby. My mum MDM K decided she know better an walked into my master room uninvited and again sprout her own opinion and started to tell me "do this do that" as if I'm an idiot or new born mum. I was soo irritated that I told her "can u only offer your opinion if I'm Doing something really wrong if not can u please just let me do wat I want? I have bathe my baby for 2 months already and I'm not an idiot" 

She MDM k of coz stood by the side simmering thinking SHE knows BEST. She came to test water with her elbow and shouted it's too hot it too hot. And insisted Must test with elbow. Irritation level spiked. Number 1 my water heater has digital thermostat which I can set the temp to exactly 38 degrees which is the recommended temp. Number 2, my hand sensory is top notch and I can feel the hotness with my wrist without having to go thru elbow. Basically when I first tested the water in early stages with elbow, I rem how it feels like with my wrists so I don't need elbow All the freaking time coz my hand already know how cool or warm it shod be to match the correct elbow temp.(my hubby n confinement lady all tested the water n said it was fine)  But my mum of course very inflexible and think I'm stupid. She shouted at me and say "u don't believe me that's why your baby cry in water lah! So hot!"  I snap back at my mum
And say "yah I DONT believe you" and ignore her proceeding to instruct my hubby to do wat I wanted to try with baby based on Internet mums suggestions. Plus she cannot wrap round her head HK april weather is cooling n cannot compare to bloody sg n msia heat so if I bath my baby in the cool water she suggested sure Kenna cold one. Inflexible case 2. She was almost willing me to fail, mumbling baby SURE will cry as I politely tell her to get out of room n she stomped out. Fact proven, my baby DID NOT cry using my new methods. He really did like warmer water and prefer to stick his feet in (I gently introduce water to his feet while still hugging him) he HATEs the method is patting water on his chest first for watever reason. So I was proven right that my baby liked what I did. 

My mum MDM K looked almost annoyed that my baby didn't cry because that means she is wrong. She didn't like to beMy in  wrong because she thinks she is ALWAYS right. So she just kept quiet and said nothing. Nothing like oh good that he's not crying anymore etc. it's always about her being fucking right and she will act ice cold or heck care when she know she is wrong or proven wrong. 

The remaining month, I bathed my baby with my hubby and allowed no interference from mum or CL . I don't want to risk him crying again. My mum would keep trying to poke her nose in and keep commentary until I had to ask her "why do u think your criticising comments are of any use here? If it's not constructive then what is your point?" 

My hubby initially thought I was just being picky but over 3 days my mum pressed a the wrong buttons n pissed him off too n he came complaining to me about MDM K behaviour. Baby was fussing at night and my hubby was putting him to sleep but my mum keep interfering saying my hubby was doing it all wrong and again she thinks she knows best. My hubby said no it's ok he has it under control but my mum tried to make a grab for the baby n my hubby was pissed n had to tell her off to leave him alone. My hubby hates people undermining him as if he is useless when he had already put the baby to sleep countless times so if u just arrive n know nothing about our son, don't try to tell us what to do. We are not hapless clueless newborn parents. 

Trouble brew when my mum Again thinks her cooking is the best and keep complaining that my confinement lady cooking not fresh and why she would buy frozen stuff. I explain to MDM k that excuse me, my CL is here to look after baby n me n help clean kitchen etc. she don't have luxury of time to waste in kitchen. So everythin must be available n be fast. But my mum keep trying to meddle. I told mum to learn how to make the confinement tea n the herbs used but as usual, my mum thinks she knows best n fucking don't open her mouth to ask when she don't know. 

Then my new maid came  my god my mum like typical sg employer act all bossy n mighty and her attitude is like shit. I told my mum to tone down her attitude since maid is new and we should give her room for errors but MDM k took offence and got even angrier. She even throw tantrum n give my maid black face and my maid ask me what did she do wrong. I told her my mum is crazy just ignore her. 

As months progress, my mum keep being a hypocrite. She thinks she know how to buy food and so instead of consolidating marketing, she like to buy her own n end up I have duplicates. She has NO concept of money and even bought hk25 for ONE carrot and she bought 4-5 of them! My hubby freaked out and asked me why my mum so wasteful? Hk20 can buy a PACK of australia carrots!! So my hubby hint to my mum that she should not buy these carrots but my mum just kept quiet. 

To top up the mess, my maid ask if she can use some of the vege she bought and my mum in front of her will say ok no problem then she will deliberately not top up and then turn to me and complain no food coz my maid used ALL her food. Now this is a very familiar problem with my mum. The last time she "helped" at my elder bro place she also accuse my SIL mum "steal" her food to cook for my SIL. Now she wants to play the same tactics. We told her, MDM k, in future u only cook my breakfast n leave lunch n dinner to my maid. My mum of course not happy n she can still mess up my breakfast. Too complicated to write but she takes 5 hours just to Prepare one small dish of food for me alone and will hog the kitchen so my maid cannot start cooking lunch. She will stay in kitchen jiji y y say my maid this n that. Even my hubby ask me why my mum talk so rudely to the maid. 

Everyday for a month my mum complain no food but mind you, we give her HK $500 too buy grocery for 6 day breakfast.  Yet she still cook me rubbish things I don't eat. Fucking hell. So my maid spend $600 on food for 3 for 6 meals but my mum spend $500 for 3 meals for ONE person. Then she throw tantrum fridge no Space. I got really irritated from lack of sleep and she keep bitching about no food no space. So I woke up to sort out the mess n she keep standing there say rubbish. I ignore her n repack n ask for food ownership. MDM k keep saying ivy buy one. Ok. So I split the food into 3 portion n give each of them one shelf. Then I ask if the CL food can use or throw. My mum just keep nagging "not i but one" repeatedly until I snap and yell at her "I don't give a shit who buy. I m asking u KEEP or THROW?" That shut her up but she was pissed of course. 

I told my maid not to use my mum
Food anymore but my puzzled maid said but my mum agree n gave permission.i told her just don't. Spare me headache. Then my bloody mum lazy go marketing and keep using my maid food without telling her n end up messing up
My maid cooking plan. We asked her why she used maid food then my mum unhappy again n yell at me say I side with the side. Hello woman, u r the trouble maker first ok?!!!

Over the 2 months, MDM k is so busy body that without asking my permission she will shift my things around. Then everytime I tell her not to do it she will say not her. 

She complain my CL used a lot of bottle sauce and her cooking not good but when my CL left, MDM k went to buy even MORE bottle sauce n cook unhealthy shit for me. She even cook same thing repeatedly and still have cheek to say other people but dunno how to slap her own face. 

She tell me I cannot drink or eat overnight food when my CL here n yet she has the cheek to offer me overnight soup. I refute her n say weren't u the one who keep saying I cannot take overnight food? She shut up. 

One day because of MDM k nagging, my maid snap and threw a fit n hide in her room. My mum angrily came to me n complain. It's like woman, u haven't help me one bit since u came but create nothing but problems & trouble. I am
So sick of her I told my brother to please ask her go back sg. I can't handle her without risking saying something nasty to her. 

Another irritation. Is she never admits her mistakes. NEVER. It's always someone else problem or fault. Never hers. I
Just said thanks for changing the water filter n she go into this raging rant not her n it's my maid n dunno know how to
Clean anot. I just ignore her regretting ever thanking her. Then she seem to
Realise she missed a chance of credit claim n ask me which filter. Then she quickly claim credit "of course it's me I change" I said to her "your first instinct is always to say no no not you lah" then she tried to justify herself and I just cut her off. No mood to listen to her rubbish.

I tell my Maid to do things my way, she will busy body scold my maid n tell my
Maid to do things her way. She will stop my maid from doing things and then complain she never do. Wat a bitch right? I give her face eve. When she contradict my instructions but she still think she damn right.

Cooking, keep telling her not to cook so much but never listen. We will tell her just cook one chicken n one vege but she will fucking Ignore you n do wat she like. Tell her a million times to cook only vege with mushroom or carrots don't Kpo add prawn or meat coz we don't eat this way but stubborn don't listen until one day I scrap every single prawn off my vege plate n throw it one side and tell her, u want u eat. I am not eating this. Again she try to justify her actions I just walk away. Not interested In your grandmother story after months of telling u nicely.

---- end of part one-----

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