May 2014: "Friends", the most annoying existence of the lot

MAY 2014

In life, there are friends, and there are "friends" who are worse than acquaintances.

Friends are people, whom you may not have seen for ages, yet able to pick up where you left off in conversations and keep on going full steam ahead with no awkwardness, regardless on the number of years that have gone past. Friends are people who know what to say, what not to say, what has to be said and what should never be said.

Acquaintances are people you barely knew, Hi-Bye friends and you have absolutely no interest to get to know better but not mind their existence or company in those rare social occasions amongst other friends. Acquaintances are people who ask generic questions and share generic info. They are generally non intrusive because they dont give 2 hoots about you really. 

"Friends" are people who used to be friends and decided that their lives are now way more important than everyone else but expect their friend status to remain unchanged with their friends despite the lack of contact & care. Seriously, with watsapp and FB thesedays, so fucking difficult to drop messages off and on to stay in touch? No one is asking you to pen a fucking poem via snail mail or write in calligraphy pen u know. These are in my view, frankly the most annoying bunch because their status is actually akin to Acquaintances or even Strangers, BUT they still think in their egocentric mind that they are your Friends and hence they cross all the lines they shouldnt cross. "Friends" are people who are the most obnoxious beings, say things they shouldnt, ask things they really shouldnt, and they are just plain "gossipers" & a pain in the butt, and are people I am starting to cross off my list. 

Just the other day, a "friend" messaged me in FB, telling me that she will be in HK and if I will be free to catch up.

This "friend" is actually an ex-colleague from my first job after graduation and I have neither seen nor spoken to her since 1999 except for the one time she conversed with me via "facebook in 2005 when she requested to add as my friend and only then, she messaged to ask if I was in contact with any other ex colleague and to share that she was attached, which was something she kept lamenting to me and another girl that will never happen because she is, in her words, "not as pretty, not as sociable, not as lively, not as outgoing, not as approachable as us two".

To give a background history on this "friend", she is a depressing person. That's my image of her. Negative, always whining and always complaining and the sort that you can NEVER expect her to stand up for you if someone bullies you. Not that I care very much about her since I have no expectations from this "friend". I was fine with just having lunch with her with 3 other more uplifting chatty gals.

That said, when she shared she finally got attached, I was like hey congrats and happy for you. I was. I was truly glad that she found another half and hopefully she will be less depressing and a drag to be with.

So from 2005 and fast forward 9 years on with absolutely no contact, that's when I received her 2nd FB message to meet up coz she is on a biz trip to HK. I told her because it's last min request, I can only meet her on sat 11am to catch up over brunch/lunch. She said ok. So I booked a place and told her where to meet. Come Thurs, she messaged me and said she hasnt been to HK for decades and asked me to show her around.

I replied that I couldnt as I have another appointment and I have to leave by 3pm.

She replied "Oh. In that case then next time then since it's so last min."

I wasnt sure what she meant by next time. Next time to meet or next time to show her around? So I wrote back and asked her if we are still meeting at 11am? I said I could still meet her and only have to leave at 3pm, (which to me 4 hours is not a bad catching up time considering she isnt a friend but a "friend".)

She wrote back "Oh I will go Shenzhen with my colleagues instead. Maybe next time I will let u know earlier"

I shut off my phone because I was annoyed. To me, you are a very insincere BITCH. You are not really here to catch up but you just want to have a fucking free guide to suit your purpose. So 4 hours is not good enough and let's face it, you dont really want to chat, you just want to use me to spend your time and take you around isnt it? That was when I know I would NEVER, EVER entertain her request to meet EVER AGAIN regardless in Singapore or HK.

Just when I thought the whole episode was over, she messaged me again few days later, to ask
"I am back in Sg now. So how are you and how is life."

I read the message and thought to myself "What the fuck you want? You have a perfect chance to find out how I am on last sat but apparently no, you rather go shopping so fuck off and you dont deserve to know what's happening in my life loser."

Instead I replied "I'm good thanks. Nothing exciting."

Guess what Ms "Friend" wrote back?

"So when are you having a baby?"

Oh you fucking nosy intrusive bitch. I was offended.
Offended by the fact that she THINKS she is "close" enough to have the privilege to know anything personal or intimate details of my life? No Miss, you dont get to ask questions like these and think you can get away being such a nosy piece of shit. Plus, not to mention I was barely off being annoyed at your cancellation of our sat lunch. So I asked her back in FB

"So how often are you having sex with your husband? What is your fav position? Do you suck his dick? What kind of underwear you guys like to wear? You dont like the questions I just asked? Good, because I find your question just as personal and invasive as those I asked. "

Miss "Friend" of course realised she has hit the wrong button and prob shocked from my "questioning" and replied "Oh I'm just traditional and so I asked that's all"

I replied "Well it's annoying question and no one else has business to know since it's a private matter isnt it. If you see it, you see it. If you dont see it, you dont. What's the point of asking. Why? You are in a hurry to find babies to sponser for the rest of their lives is it?"

She replied "Oh no lah, I'm very traditional and always long for a baby and after a long wait, I'm now 4 months pregnant."

OH SOD OFF YOU STUPID COW.
Firstly, tradition has no role in your rudeness. You are just being self centered and you just want to shout to the world you are pregnant and you want to USE ME to start a trigger so YOU CAN SHARE your fucking joy. Well guess what, I'm not happy for you. In fact, I dont even give any shit as to how long you crave for one and that you achieve your "utopia state" of motherhood. Simply because you are NOT my friend, and I DONT FUCKING CARE and if I did, I wont even ask you anyway.

Why do some people think they can go around poking their fucking nose in other people's biz and get away with it behind the shield" tradition" Well traditionally people dig holes in the ground to poo and shit, why dont you? Traditional woman learns to cook, clean, serve their husbands and the whole family of the husband's like maids, work the fields all by themselves, why dont you? Traditional my arse.

I simply did not bother to reply her and she prob saw it coming and wrote

"Oh I meant no offence. Good night"

But the TRUTH is, I AM offended and I'm not going to let you think I'm not.
So I told her " It is offending. Good night."

End of conversation.

People like these really ought to have their head checked, go brush up their manners.
It's one thing for very close friends to ask such personal questions, and another for someone who has never bothered in your life to ask you such questions. IT SERIOUSLY PISS ME OFF. How would she have liked it if the fact that when she was single, I had rubbed her off the wrong way by asking her "Why you no bf. Go find one lah. Oh i'm only asking because I'm attached." It's just plain rude.

I dont know if its a CHINESE BAD MANNERS thing or just some people brought up to be so pig headed. I never have any other non Chinese friends asking me this question. Sharing their own wish "Oh I look forward to having kids" or "Having kids are great, you should start early if you want some." etc are perfectly fine with me because those are suggestions based on their own desires and experience. They are not intrusive or imposing. But some Chinese including some relatives really piss me off with their line of conversation. They have no boundaries and they think its perfectly ok until someone throws a shot back at them.

 I rem once I was attending a baby shower and when I said the parenting books the mother had was interesting, this girl "friend" said loudly "how don't u go have one too lah!" I was pissed off and I retorted "Well the whole street is fu of single men, why don't YOU go find a boyfriend get married and Have ONE YOURSELF?" That shut her up alright n other married ladies without kids started to sniggle. 

 I have reached an age where "MY LIFE IS MY LIFE SO YOU FUCK OFF MY TERRITORY."
Dont asked me a question where you are not prepared to hear an answer you dont like.