After the big rant and dissing me about why I need other people to help with caring of the baby, I absolutely refuse to let him do anything or carry the baby. No thank you, I don't need to be shouted at since I don't know if you are going to categorise that as "helping" me or u r just playing but I rather err on side of caution and just take baby away since I don't want to be accuse "useless" indirectly.
So my day still starts at 6.30am. I was mincing the pork at 8.30am n he come to
Kitchen to hush me to keep the chopping volume down coz it interrupts his sleep. Can I say it? I will say it. In my head I was thinking "fucker"
Anycase I made baby lunch n dinner congee, fed the baby milk, I pump milk, wake the baby to feed solid, wash bottles, take baby out buy grocery, come back feed milk, put baby to sleep, wash bottles, eat lunch, and the "I m the father" decides he wants to play with baby on the bed where I can watch him while I was washing bottle. After I was done, he carried baby to living room to play ball. I went to him and asked "are u playing with him or u are watching him?"
He said "both"
Straightaway I took the baby off the ground and carried him n told his father "no thanks, I can watch him myself" and I brought him back to his bedroom to play and pump milk at the same time. Don't try to pretend everything is ok after u lash out on me. U want to be those good time daddy and nothing else then don't come near my son and say that u are helping me. I don't need your help n even if I die trying, I rather die than open my mouth to ask u to help wat him anymore. It's easy for me. I don't have to get angry at being malign anymore and i just don't allow grey area anymore to exist. From now on, I will always clarify if he is just wanting to play. I don't ever want to hear the words "I'm helping you" ever again since it seems as if it's more MY son than OURS since he is using the word "helping YOU".
He tried to be "nice" and offered to wash the bottles saying he had time. I took the pail of bottles away from him and tell him don't need. I can do it myself. I will not give u the satisfaction of playing Mr nice guy as and when it suits u. Of course he is more than happy to go back to his room to do his watever stuff I don't care anymore. I don't fucking care wat time he goes to sleep anymore since he's not helping me lookout for baby waking while I pump. Last night I just sit in the dark in baby room to pump. At least even when he cries I can just take out my pump n carry him.
There's a chinese saying
靠人不如靠自己 and 死也不会求你
So at least I can proudly say "I raise my son", not "We raise our son"
Gosh. My first reaction reading your posts is: this man's a F#*%$&. Sorry about that. He just sound like a 100% MCP. I'm a father btw. My second reaction is: maybe he's really stressed up over the job hunt. But that sounds like an excuse cause he seemed to consistently behave as if the child's your responsibility only and you're supposed to jolly well do everything cheerfully. Not sure if i'm getting the right impression.
ReplyDeleteAnyway not trying to find an excuse for him but this is prob a trying time for him too as you, being a responsible mother, are now 100% focused on the baby and not him. Some men find it harder to manage the change to parenthood. You don't face this "problem" because you're just too worn out and sleep-deprived to think about anything.
Can imagine how tired and frustrated you are with a double whammy of hubby and maid. I suppose the good news is your mum's not here. Ha..