25 Nov: falling back to routine

Finally! My boy is well again and back to his good old self! 

That means no more clingy whiny boy that needs constant carrying to sleep. He is back to falling asleep on his own after I put him on the bed. All I need is to lay next to him and watch him slowly closing his eyes n succumb to Zzzzz monster. 

I don't know how other babies sleep at 8pm. I guess those mums must enjoy waking at 5 or 6am? I let my little one sleep at 10 or 10.30pm n wakes at 7.30 or 8am. Thank goodness he is back to sleeping through the night again without waking. 

His appetite been huge these days. Must be another growth spurt. He's chucking down like 220-200ml each session. Which is really a lot since his usual prior sickness was average 160ml saved for the morn 200ml when he first woke. We are wondering if it's not growth spurt, then he must be making up for lost fats. He has definitely lost weight after that horrid 3 weeks of sickness n small food intake. Now, he is chomping down his solids and his milk like a champ! 

He's keeping longer awake hours now. Averaging 10 waking hours a day. The best way was to go out n keep him distracted with new surroundings. Then he will be really exhausted when he gets back. Save me having to play with him for long hours.

Meanwhile, I am trying to ward away this annoying stuff nose n start of a cough. It has been bothering me for a while. It's not full blown but it's not gone either. Irritating. 

Another of my gf seem to be struggling a lot with new parenthood. Her boy can't seem to sleep well. Well, it's partly her own fault I think. 

When the baby was discharged, she didn't take my advice to swaddle the baby. I told her she had to Wrap his hands to prevent jerking motion. Just leave his legs free to move. I even recommended the really good swaddle me up bag for newborn. Instead of trusting me, she said her confinement lady tell her don't need to swaddle and she told me that Canada don't swaddle babies. I left it to her n her decision since its her baby. 

Yet few weeks later, she shared that her baby is not sleeping well, always restless n keep waking up coz he gets startled by his own hands jerking. After 3 weeks she decides oh she better swaddle. 

I told her to go get the sleep bag that will keep newborn snug n prevent jerking. 2 weeks later she complain baby still crying n not sleeping well. I ask what happen n the bag don't work? She said baby still jerking and active in sleep. I was surprised the bag didn't work since it worked so well with my boy n another excolleague whom I had given the bag to (her baby had the same jerking crying problem) 

After chatting a while, then I realise she didn't use the bag I recommend but put the baby in a sleeveless sleeping bag. 

*face palm* how will sleeveless bag help your hand jerking motion? Didn't I explain to u already?? 

I replied that sleeveless sleep bags are really only good for 3 months onwards because those are more for preventing them Kicking blankets off rather than for hands (strangely my boy likes his blanket. Lol) 

So after close to 1.5month, my gf n her hubby are still experimenting n mucking around instead of just heeding my advice to get the tried n tested product for their problem. She remarked "your baby is really so much easier to look after than mine"

I didn't tell her coz I don't wait around till the problem manifest into a sleep problem! I mean a sleepless baby has got to be a cranky one right?! 

18 Nov: decision...

Spoke to my man about maid's request to let her continue working. 

We thought about it and debate the pros and cons. My personal stance is to release her but my hubby is more reluctant because he said I won't be able to cope with an increasingly demanding boy. He raised the issue of cooking and buying groceries and cleaning up after cooking. He said he doesn't have bandwidth to do all that. Even if we hire part time at hk70 an hour, it's gonna be very ex. But most of all, he said having gone thru 2 weeks of hell with baby refusing to sleep at night n both of us sick, it is handy to keep her on hand till we can find someone better.

But of course he recognise n agreed with the fact that this maid has broken out trust n that she frustrates us n it's something worth factoring in. She will undeniably revert to her ownself once she cannot cope if there's a slight change of norm.

So my husband propose to keep her with last warning, that the next time she throw tantrum, there will be no Speeches or conversation. Out of the house she goes immediately. Also, we will lay down terms that if we decide to hire additional help, she will shut up n don't complain n just work along. If she's not happy she can leave. 

It's not ideal but well I guess I have to try it out. No choice since unlike sg where hawker centered aplenty, HK is tougher where I live in central. I don't want to be spending hk200 every meal to eat out. 

Sigh. 

10 Nov: sacking maid part 1

I knew the stupid one couldn't last long if I keep exposing her mistakes. She's the kind of useless emo type who is so self righteous. 

So after repeated days of pointing out her mistakes, she finally call it quits herself or perhaps she thought she can use "termination" to blackmail me. Too bad, I don't get threaten by your stupidity. So I told her I accept. The story goes 

Monday is grocery shopping day and again instead of asking my husband for money, she hassled me again. I got really fed up coz I'm tired n was rushing to prep milk n there she is again, bloody hindering me. I asked her "next time can u ask sir for money and stop asking me in the morn?" It's like she think I'm

Damn free? I ask her where's the shopping list and meal list. She gave it to me and i was fed up again 

After 3-4 days of telling her no chicken, she wrote "braised chicken" again. After telling her 3 days no chilli, she wrote "tofu with chilli" again. Told her just steam fish before and she wrote "braised fish ( which needs to fry first) is she an idiot? Wait. We have established that already. 

So I crossed out every thing and I looked at her shopping list. Again she wrote squid when we told her before, don't buy seafood unless you cooking that day. No where in Monday Tuesday dishes were there squid. There are 2 packs of new eggs, she still want to buy eggs. Tell her buy green vege, she still buy bean sprout and hairy gourd. See what I mean by stubborn mule? 

After I cross out her rubbish list, I left money on table for her. My mil walked to me saying she cooked congee for everyone. I told her to check with maid lunch menu. My mil asked n came to me "I dunno what she is saying she's mumbling. I think she say beef and chicken." "I thought I told her no chicken???? Please tell her no chicken"

I was rushing off to feed baby m take him to see doctor so I didn't bother to question my mil further. Just before I left home, I didn't trust my maid so I went kitchen to look. I asked her "what r u cooking for lunch" she just replied "beef"

Me: what beef? Can you please describe and elaborate how u r cooking the beef. I don't understand you. 

Maid: (silence) took a plastic bag n dump the contents on table showing enoki mushroom. 

Me: so u r doing beef roll wrapped enoki. Can u don't pan fry just grill

Then I left. 

I came home with baby first while my mum go wet market to get fish n soup ingredient. I put the baby to sleep n came lunch, I saw braised chicken next to beef. 

I waited till I finish lunch n she was clearing plate to ask "how come there's chicken? I Thot my mil told you no chicken?" My maid said "oh nai nai says she wants to eat chicken" I don't believe her but I kept quiet n walk away.

My mil came back ate her lunch but chicken remained untouched. I asked my mil "I Thot u told her no chicken?"  My mil said "I did. I told her but she say she wants to cook chicken coz the chicken in fridge very long already. So she ask me can I eat the chicken. I told her if she must cook chicken then I eat abit but the rest of family coughing and will not eat."

So u see the difference? My mil will not lie. She will not change story. Yet my maid version n my mil Varies n I believe my mil. I didn't confront stupid one. I just mark it down. 

My mil wanted to cook soup and fish for dinner. I was helping her prepare and making her fruit juice for her. I just ignore the useless one. We were in the kitchen happily chit chatting n ms tantrum went to her room and shut the door. I went to open the door coz when door is close there is no air movement n kitchen is hot. To my annoyance, the bitch lock the door. We told her before unless she is changing clothes, she cannot lock the door esp since we also need to access laundry area n our handy tools are there. I knocked on the door twice no response. So obviously not changing. I repeated knock on the door still no response. I was pissed. I walked out to look for maid keys. Just as I found it, the bitch open the door. I walk back to kitchen and saw she paste this huff puff note on the door. 

In short she wants me to terminate her because she says I'm not happy with her work and she is very stress and she is not perfect. She say she try her best. 

In my head I think if this is your best, bless u when u r not. 

So I told her "I accept your resignation. U tell me the dates". I went to the room to print out official letter template from HK immigration labour division. 

I knew bitch expect me to terminate her but I refuse. I insist it's resignation. She stood there defiant refusing to sign saying that she wants termination. I told her she raised the issue of not able to work so she is the one resigning. I will not write as terminate. She will carry on working as I demand if she don't resign. She keep shaking her head saying no, she wants to be terminated saying she wants to find new employer. I refuse to back down either. 

The reason I refuse to state terminated is this. If terminated I have to pay her off during the one month notice if I want her out of my house earlier. If she resign, I only need to pay her till the last working day. If she choose to leave early then she has to pay me back the 1 month notice remainder. I don't intend to benefit her esp when she has been pissing me off. 

She keep saying she's stressed and say when she need to pay for the kitchen sink cover. 

I was irritated n retorted" do u have bad English? Do u know how to read? I wrote if you damage the sink cover again the NEXT time, u will pay for new one. I didn't ask you pay for this one did I?" She cried n keep saying in raised voice "why I pay. I not intentional. It's not my fault the screw came off"

So I replied "when did I ask u to pay for this time? Did u pay? No. Did I take money from you? No. Did you get money deducted? No. So don't you accuse me of making you pay. I wrote NEXT time. I don't care if it's intentional or not because u damage, you pay. It's in the contract. Your job is to be careful. It's your job to make sure everything is in proper condition. It's your job to make sure you are not careless. I just bought this 2 weeks ago and u telling me you cannot tell the screw is loose? You didn't even bother to check. So I highlight to you your mistake now and warn u next time same mistake you pay. Why should I have to pay for your mistake repeatedly?"

She keep saying not intentional and shd don't have so much money to be deducted and I told her "then DONT be careless. If you are careful who will deduct your money? But your problem is if I tell you nicely you don't care or you forget. You don't respect me and my instructions. How many times did I make you pay for your other mistakes? Everytime you forget to buy things, or take things you bought, I have to pay for your bus trip $12. Did I make you pay for the bus? No. But my point is why should I be paying repeatedly for your carelessness? One time 12$. 10 times 120$. I can buy a lot of food with 120$. U are wasting my money and did I say anything to you? No. So don't you dare complain about me warning you from now on not to repeat your mistakes.

To be cont

7 Nov: Stupid one continues to be/ act stupid

Even if the stupid maid is not tired of hearing, I'm sick n tired of repeating myself. 

HANG the fricking clothes and NOT clip upside down!!!!

The fuckwit still refuse or too stupid to understand the word Hang??? She knows how to hang her own clothes correctly but when it comes to my clothes, she suddenly become stupid and don't know how to hang?? Which part of the instructions "hang clothes with hangers, don't clip upside down" that she cannot understand??? 

I caught her doing it last night but my mil quickly hang it. Today just 5 mins ago, she did it again. No wonder her former Sg employer want to punch her. She deserves it. She is sooooo stupid and stubborn and gives u black face that you really want to slap her silly. It's worse than talking to the wall coz st least the wall don't turn black and give u the irritated look. 

I refuse to rectify it for her. I stand there and hold the hanger and told her curtly "HANG. NOT clip." She stare at the clothes like morons do and then took it from me. God, how can anyone be soooooooooooooooooooooooo stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid????

Anycase, now that I know we are gonna rid her, I shall contain myself for a while longer still our plan B can materialise. 

Stupidity does kill. It can shorten ones lifespan even if not contagious. Now I can understand why some autistic or even normal kids with very high IQ gets frustrated with us average joe. Just dealing with ONE moron maid is bad enough.

Lunch, I had to go out buy congee. Stupid one cook chicken yesterday and even though my mil told her we cannot eat chicken (when she was prepping fish to steam n stupid one was lingering in kitchen to pretend to be useful) , stupid one still wants to cook chicken for lunch. I don't even want to talk to her and just kept the chicken back in fridge. 

My hubby told her don't have to cook for us, we will go buy. She only need to cook vege. 5 mins I walk into kitchen and stupid one wanted to cook rice without even checking with us. Stupid one thinks she's being smart. I stop her saying "don't need to cook rice"

She will pause 10secs then give black face and walk back her room. 

It's ok. Keep walking back your room. Pretty soon u will have no room to go to when I boot your sorry arse out. 

6 Nov: smile mummy smile:)

This is the only reason I can still smile when I have to face a moron day in day out. My little cheeky monkey:)

6 Nov: the annoyance continues, part 2.

So while I was in the room with baby from 1.30-2.45pm, I have no idea what fucktard was doing outside since I didn't hear anything. 

I came out and she heard me and walk out pretending that she is going to start cleanin the living room. 

I asked her "Have you vaccum the carpets in living dining room?" She said "baby sleeping". I told her baby is not sleeping so she can vaccum before my in laws come back and want to watch tv. 

I finished saying that and was mashing baby food in dining room on the table when she starts to vaccum the dining room carpet. I look at her incredulously and asked "can u vaccum the living room first?" She replied "oh I finish here first." She just live to annoy me. I mean there's no one in living room and you cannot vaccum there first?? You just have to vaccum here when I'm prepping food and going to feed baby? you just keep demonstrating u r really brainless. 

So I told her off sternly "NO. U go vaccum living room first." The stupid one has the cheek to ask "oh only vaccum

Carpet?" I replied "of course you vaccum the WHOLE area right?!!!" Then she begrudgingly took the vaccum over. 

When I was feeding baby, she finish vaccum just as my in laws came back. They went marketing so that can make soup n steam fish tonight. We are sick of her cooking. She cook me chicken n prawns which are the worst food to eat when coughing. Plus the prawns are no good. So I didn't eat much lunch either. 

I notice the tissue box was almost empty. So I went to pantry to get new one while carrying baby. To my displeasure, the stupid one fail to follow my request to take all the boxes out from the packaging n stack them. I have told her nicely just few days ago to remove all the plastic because it's easier for me to grab a box when I'm rushing or with baby one hand. The fuckwit forgot again n didn't do wat I told her to. So I stood there and ask her "can u please remove all the plastic packaging? I told u before to remove it"

She stood there n still argue with me "oh let me vaccum first" I got really irritated with her. "I NEED the tissue now. Can you just go get it n remove the plastic"

The stupid one went to pantry grab a box  and put it on table. Then she wants to vaccum again when everyone was at the dining table. See what I mean she wants to do things HER way? I hand baby to husband n walk to pantry n the plastic packaging are all still there. She rather go  stand in living room waiting for people to

Leave from dining to vaccum then follow my instruction to spend 2 min to remove packaging. I swear I want to slap her. 

So in my pissed off mode, I remove all the plastic packaging and throw it on the floor. She can go pick it up. 

Guess what? She pick up the plastic and decided she won't vaccum anymore and went off to do other stuff when there's no one now in the dining room. I waited to see what she's up to and after half hour, still no sign of her. 

So I told my hubby to tell her to vaccum. I know I will yell at her if I were to face her. 

What do you call people like that? Stubborn Brainless fucktard. 

Thank god stupidity is not contagious.. 

2 Nov: Follow up..my man encounter with the stupid one

So after reading my note this morn, miss tantrum refuse to speak to me. Instead of 30mins, she took one hour to wash car.  Fine by me. The less I see your face the better. 

When my man woke up, I told him to ask the maid himself what happened to the cereal he requested her to buy 2 days ago, and again the query note he left her yesterday morn asking for cereal

I kept away from their conversation coz I can already predict what miss dumbarse will say. 

As expected, after my husband spoke to her (I overheard him saying "if you don't buy u need to tell me right?" ) her face was blacker than charcoal. 

My husband updated me an hour later after the stupid one left home making excuse she need to buy groceries. I didn't want to see her face so I let her go even though she has not done her chores. 

I asked him wat happened to his cereal since she refuse to explain to me. He said the stupid one said she went causeway bay and didn't see it. Hello? You know how many supermarkets there are in CWB? My husband said "you can get that everywhere what do u mean u don't see it? Also u need to come back, central Jason market is near the bus stop n u couldn't walk there to buy?" Then she changed her excuse that she forgot. 

My husband was annoyed by her attitude and told her "Look u need to tell us when you don't buy things that we instruct u n give money to buy.  For whatever reason u don't want to buy, u explain to us" she just kept quiet. She think keeping quiet is like super good of her. 

Anyone following my posts will know this is not the first time she refuse to tell us wat she didn't buy. Things for herself she will rem, for us she won't. My husband said to me " that's it. She's finished in my book. Gave her enough chances. We look for new help. This one is stubborn and stupid and nothing goes into that head" no common sense. 

My mother in law who is the nicest lady also weigh in that this maid has mood swings and black face. How dare she even give my in laws who did nothing to deserve her black face.

During interview we had specifically told her we don't want to see black face. We prefer open communication. Even after her first 2 tantrums, I told her I

Don't want to see black face but hey, does she care? No. When she was begging for a job, she of course will promise the sky. She forgets that we are not at her mercy, she is and this contract if terminated will be her 3rd unfinished job. Good luck on track record. 

So she went "grocery shopping" for 2 hours plus and just got back. She had NOT done any housework. I have already done 3 loads of washing laundry. The last load, I left it for her to hang. Even AFTER I wrote to HANG with clothes hanger, the MORON still clip the clothes to the hanger with the shirts upside down which is what I hate coz the water will pool down wards at the sleeves which is the hardest to dry and will stink. After correcting her for 5 months and she keep the clothes I hang for 5 months, you are THAT stupid to not see how it's being done not to Mention I have shown u and even write down instructions for you? If this is not deliberate defiant, then she is even more stupid than my dog. 

I text my husband that the rooms are not clean. His response was don't bother to talk to her, she's going to be sack. Only a matter of when. 

Honestly, I can't wait for that day to come. 

2 Nov : I think I'm almost done with my maid

I can't exactly point a reason, but I really dislike my maid. I'm not sure if it's her constant blackface when you point out her mistake, throw her tantrum or the fact she like to Question my instructions, or she is so damn forgetful and careless that it grates my nerves because that means I cannot relax around her. 

I try my best to close one eye when she falls short. That means working around her stupidity. For example

1. She consistently fail to top up my hot water thermal flask so that means I have to eat into my precious sleep time every night after midnight to fill up 3 flasks, and 2 drinking container. That's at least 20mins - 30mins gone 

2. I told her repeatedly not to pay for plastic bags but use recycle bags at home when grocery shopping at supermart. I showed her the mountain load of bags we have. There must be at least 20 bags of various sizes and thickness. Yet, just 2 days after I reminded her, she still went ahead to ignore my instructions and come back with plastic bag. If it was a very busy day I can understand but no, yesterday we gave her half day morn time off to

Go mongkok to fix her faulty phone (which she use to chat with her friends not for us). We were out the whole day so she didn't have to cook lunch. So there was no rush and yet she just conveniently ignore my requests. 

3. I told her out cooking knives set is very expensive. So please wash and dry immediately and put it back in the rack. Several times I caught her dumping my knives with pointed end downwards into the metal cutlery holder. She already blunt one knife but I gave her benefit of doubt but repeatedly she did it. I lead by example that everytime I use the knives, I would wash it myself n dry keep it but she still "forgets" or can't be bothered. To work round that and prevent myself from getting upset repeatedly, I took ALL my good expensive knives away n store in the baby food prep cabinet n leave her the crappy ikea knife and the good knife she blunted that she can abuse all she wants. To work with stupid mindless people like her, it's pointless being understanding n patient. I think 5 months is enough time to give her benefit of doubts n chance to correct her ways.

4. I told her my husband does not like her meat patties and don't cook that for him for meals. My husband has even told her himself. Yet repeatedly she put it as one of the dish in the meals planner I told her to write. So one morn last week, always at my busiest, she ask me to vet the list. I told her sir don't like meat patties why are u cooking that? It's not like she was asking first then buy ingredients. It's she already bought it and expect us to eat it anyway. Otherwise the ingredients goes to waste right? She give me black face when I told her to think of another dish. Too tired to talk to stubborn moron. So I told her "if u don't believe me, u can ask sir yourself when he wakes up if he wants to eat your meat patties

So she actually waited for an hour for him to wake. 

She asked him herself n my husband said no. No meat patties. She quietly slink out of the room n didn't say anything as she walk past me. I stopped her n asked "so does sir wants to eat your meat patties?" She said "no" with a stupid smile and went to kitchen. At that moment , I ask myself. "Why do u think u would know my husband better than I do? U r only here 5 months. Who do u think u r to try to overrule my decision or instructions?" I think that really rub me the wrong way that she actually thinks she might be correct n wait to ask my husband rather than just follow my request to cook another dish. 

5. Cooking. We repeatedly told her add less salt. She again either has a bloody plastic tastebud it again refuse to follow instructions. The chicken was so salty none of us inclusive of my in laws who like salty food can eat it. This must be the 5th time. I had it. I told my husband to tell her to strike the dish off the menu forever since she just won't listen. After we told her we won't eat it, she bothered me again hours later when I'm busy prepping baby milk to ask "wat to do with chicken". I told her "throw! No one can eat it" she looks clearly unhappy. I should be more unhappy coz that's like hk$80 down the drain for the chicken thighs. 

6. Told her don't put chilli in cooking coz my in laws don't eat spice. Ignore me. I felt bad when my in laws started to cough and choke at food at the chilli spice. In my head I was thinking "u fking bitch. U write on the fridge no chilli but still cook chilli" I was very upset with her even though my in laws didn't say much. But u know they reach their limits too when they rather eat out.

7. Repeatedly we tell her buy food or groceries, again, never inform us when she didn't buy it. My husband open the cabinet n asked me" where's the cereal?" I told him ask the stupid one. He wrote a note in the morn to ask her. Again she ignore his note and said nothing. I'll see what her moron excuse is later. 

8. I have shown her n told her to use hangers to hang to dry clothes. She repeatedly ignore n just clip the clips on the rack. The fan though on wasn't even blowing at the clothes but into empty space. U don't call that stupid? The reason I told her is clothes won't dry properly n will stink if she do it her way. Don't listen. 

So last night, I am so sick of talking to stupid one that I wrote down all the things she failed to do n the way to do it correctly. This morn she read the note but of course miss tantrum not happy and started to bang around the kitchen when she washes the plates. If that's not deliberate, I swear pigs will grow wings n fly. 

Last night I told my husband, I don't think I can last very long with this stupid tantrum cow. My quality of life is affected and she's constantly upsetting me. I don't feel peaceful. He said he leave it to me since she doesn't bother him much as he doesn't have to deal with her. So we decided to start looking again for new replacement. I think life is too short to be constantly upset at some one who is hopeless. 

I realise I really need to let her go when she is affecting the kind of person I am. I actually lost all sympathy for her! I don't like this negative person she is turning me into. That's a dangerous slippy slope when one loses the feeling to empathise with someone else pain. I say that because the other night, she was in kitchen waiting for the grilled pork to cook. I walked into kitchen to get pot to cook baby food and wasn't even talking to her. She asked me the same question "wat time is dinner" my same repeated reply "same time" thinking u already grill the pork, it's almost done. How can I Change time even if I want to? As my back was turn to her, I didn't see it but I heard her went ouch ouch oh my god. I turn around to see her holding her hand. I  didn't need to ask but knew she burnt her hand again while day dreaming.

At that moment, I didn't feel sorry for her. Instead in my head I went "again? How stupid can one be to repeatedly burnt herself in few months and not learn?" No one was rushing or distracting her either. She stood there going ouch and I told her, run under cold water before she move. The first few times she burnt herself I was rather concerned. I would help Ice her n find cream. 5 months on when she did it so many times, i got numb n Immuned to her. I just walk out of kitchen after telling her "ice it" I didn't feel a thing and that night I kept pondering, how could I not feel a thing? 

I get upset over injured cats n dogs or abandoned strays. I would tear seeing I'll treated people and yet before me this person told me she burnt her hand again, I had no shred of emotion except "again?!?"

That's when I know I'm really done with her. If I cannot feel for her, that means she's really invisible to me n she's turning me to this awful person I don't like. 

Wish me luck on my search for a better maid.