Memory trigger

Was searching for something online and a familiar face pop up in one of the article.

Twice now I thought he was a dusty memories almost perished in existence but nope, once again, it is proven that my brain may be foggy about details but that call he put through donkey years ago left an indelible mark.

It's funny coz seeing face triggered a whole series of memories that has been tucked away in some compartment n I rem that call. That call that was too late. That call that he said he had loved me. Why m I still cringing I don't know.

Of course he's married now, I presumed so since it's an article about him n his partner setting a brand new business cafe concept in sg. I couldn't resist, being a woman or a bored mum curious for juicy gossip, to just want to know how does he look like now? Lol. Shallow I know... I know but hey, this is a guy who has once wore his heart on his sleeve n so I guess anyone in my shoes will want to see the Fave now.

Turns out he didn't change much. For a while he was chubby, not so nice.  Then he lost weight. Looks better. Hair still as funky lol. He seems happy with his two new love. He has always been a gentle guy so I think his new venture suits him. At least now I know where he works n I know exactly where to avoid bumping into him though I think he prob would hardly care.

I guess i kind of look back n second guess my decision in not telling him what he wanted to know back then n gave him a curt emotionless reply to get him moving along. I thought it was best for both of us. I think I did right but leaving an option as frens wasn't in my list then. It's thankful we don't have too many common frens.

End of memory trip

5 April: Moving!

After much deliberation we have finally decided to move back to Sg to save rental cost since hubby still not working. Doesn't look like he will find a job soon with all the Chinese requirements

We just got back from Australia visiting his family and as usual, his fucking sister pissed me off again. Another story another time.

One thing my mother in law noticed n came to ask me privately was "what is wrong with her son". She too thought he has become a different person, impatient, quick to point fingers, sensitive and basically not thinking clearly making a lot of time wasting decisions. I told my Mil that it has been like that for a while n I'm tolerating him for over a year now. Especially the quick to get angry part really pisses me off. A few times now I have to tell him off to let me finish my sentence. 

Since we decided to move back, again he did nothing. He said he will contact Santa Fe n guess what? Ended up with me doing everything. I told him to pack some of his personal stuff quickly as we need to make use of all times, fucking ignore me. Rather waste his time looking at non urgent things like property market in oz, download movies, surf internet n Fb, arrange lunches with frens. Do I want to slap him, of course. 

So I wrote a list of things for him to do n he still procrastinating giving invalid reasons. Told him to update address with banks n terminate gas acct, he tells me must wait till Monday. Of course I was annoyed since Monday will be busy taking baby for injection etc n grocery shopping. I ask why cant he do it today? He says must go bank. I told him why can't do online? He says don't have n must submit form. I login to update my address n told him "u can do it online". Only then he says I just saw it. Then he exclaim oh cannot! No overseas address option. I really cannot take it n told him "yes u can! I just did it!!! The option is right in front of u". 

Then he complain he's hungry n no food. No bread etc. I search the fridge n said there's chicken thigh he can eat. Then he said "but there's nothing to eat with" I was annoyed. I told him "can't u just cook rice with it? U first complain there's no food, then I found meat for u you want to pick n say nothing to eat with?" Silence. Then I added "why can't u eat your cereal?? I bought a new pack for u n there's milk n fruits." Then he went "oh yah"

See what I mean by I have to think of everything for him? It's almost like his brain has shrunk?

Even selling of furniture or talking to landlord etc, he depends on me to do it. I dunno why he cannot do it but never mind. It's faster that I do it. 

5 Jan 2016: The "backlog" moronic ex maid left behind

Now that bloody moronic maid is gone, been doing most things myself. Twice a week a local lady comes in to cook lunch which gives me some respite to catch up on other admin things. 

Other than that I'm actually super happy that I get the whole place back to myself! Especially my laundry room that I can wash through the night and turn on my humidifier to dry the clothes thoroughly! With the bitch in the way, i have to mess up my living room with racks and worse clothes don't dry properly since the area is too large to have effective humidifier working. Plus, when I cook, my kitchen is always in clean state. ALWAYS. Not the bloody oily piled up mess she leaves behind. Plus I have to make up for her slackness. She spend 3 hours every night dunno clean what fuck. I spend one hour and to clean areas she never wiped!!! So obvious when I see all the dirt n dust in the drawers handles grooves, bits and pieces of food under the cabinet area, and the exhaust hood. Fucker must be spacing out in that 3 hours pretending to work. The inside of the cabinet doors are filthy in the 7 months she was here. So the last few days had been me catching up on the cleaning load that she left behind. My hubby was concerned that I was cleaning so much but I told him I need to refresh my kitchen. All the chopping boards so filthy so I bought new ones. My wmf knives are wreaked n my scan pan non stick pan are goners.all these need to restock. 

Toilets. I need to rescrub them as I realise she has NEVER clean it with the toilet detergents. I bought 3 bottles and they are all there untouched. FULL. She has just been using water and cloth n got knows how often she change the cloth. No wonder I always thought my toilet don't smell fresh. She only make sure there are no mould on the tiles as I check n ask her to scrub and she can't laze on that. 

Bedsheets. Told the bitch to change bedsheets realise she never wash the mattress protector for months! Dear lord. 

So imagine all the backload I had to clear over the long weekend. Of course my hubby won't understand or know the massive cleanup involved. Sigh. 

Despite being sooo busy, yet I'm immensely happy. Now... If only my little one will give me more time to scrub the carpets....

20 Dec: Feeding baby

This cooking for baby thingie sucks up so much time but I'm glad at least the little one seem to enjoy his food. His dad complains he doesn't even get such kingly treatment! Lol! 

There's a bloody long list of food I haven't got round to feeding him. 

The only things I have fed him by 8 months for the last 2 months

1. Avocado

2. COD fish

3. Pork

4. Chicken breast

5. Hairy gourd

6. Zucchini

7. Baby kale

8. Swede

9. Sweet potato ( not his fav)

10. Carrot

11. Pumpkin

12. Butternut squash

13. Ginger

14. Green pea

15. Apple

16. Pear

17. Mango

18. Banana

19. Rice for congee

20. Dried sardines

21. Longan

22. Yogurt

23. Baby Spinach 

24. Egg yolk

25. Oat cereal

26. Grapes ( not his fav)

27. Papaya ( not his fav) 

Things waiting to try when I find time

1. Nectarine/ peaches

2. Cheese / formage frais

3. Bread ( don't fancy the sugar in it)

4. Pasta / macaroni

5. Tomato

6. Broccoli

7. Black berries

8. Weetabix

9. Tofu

10. Beef

11. Winter melon

12. Garlic

13. Onion

14. Corriander

15. Rosemary

16. Nutmeg

17. Cinnamon

18. Persimmon

19. Rock melon

Was shopping in Citysuper the other day and was stopped by his HK grandmother. She kept staring at us when we bought the cod. Then she explained she wanted to know wat I was feeding my boy as she thought her grandson is too small for his age. I was surprised that she didn't seem to know what to feed n portion to feed the child, and she's doing the reading up instead of the mum? Seems like she's the primary care taker. She seemed surprised that I cook my porridge in meat stock instead of plain water. She seemed even more surprised that I added a variety of ingredients into one meal. 

She asked me what normally goes inside my baby's meal.  I told her for lunch and dinner normally 1 meat+ carrot+ squash+ avo+veggie with 1 fruit. Makes up to half rice bowl. Her eyes went wide saying that's a lot. My eyes went wide when she said she only has 2 ingredients and her grandson is already over 9-10months. Wait till she hears how much fruit I put in the morn yogurt... Lol. Even little one daddy is jealous, not to mention saying so much work since he's on baby duty this whole week while I'm Sick. 

The only problem I have is little one doesn't know how to feed himself yet. I have no idea how to progress him to finger food. He takes it, he squeezes n squash them but won't put in his mouth. He only takes food from spoon. That lazy bugger. He was drinking from cup when young but now he got lazy n refuse. When I feed him water via spoon, he will blow bubbles at the spoon n spit water out for fun. He won't do that to his food but water, he will keep playing with it and let them dribble out. Drives me nuts. 

And what's with eating and pooing?!! Everytime I start feeding him in his high hair, he will want to poo. Then I'm stuck between feeding him or change his nappy. Damnit. 

Meanwhile...still thinking about when to stop with breastmilk. Initial goal was 3 months, got moved to 6 months and now it's 9 months!! I think 12 months is too much. Ever since I embark on this breastmilk thingie, my body has gone shit and I keep falling sick. Recovery is slow as snail. I miss my rest hours. Then again, partial guilt arises if I decide to stop when I see him lapping up breast milk so heartily. Damnit. 

My gf told me she faces the same delimma previously when deciding when to quit. Yet after she quit, she said she felt so happy n wonder why she took

So long. Makes me wonder if I feel the same. My hubby is dying for me to

Quit. Only coz it frees up his time lol. The more time I have, the more time he has to Do his stuff. Of course he knows it too that baby prefers his breastmilk..  Sigh. 

Another month then see? 

25 Nov: falling back to routine

Finally! My boy is well again and back to his good old self! 

That means no more clingy whiny boy that needs constant carrying to sleep. He is back to falling asleep on his own after I put him on the bed. All I need is to lay next to him and watch him slowly closing his eyes n succumb to Zzzzz monster. 

I don't know how other babies sleep at 8pm. I guess those mums must enjoy waking at 5 or 6am? I let my little one sleep at 10 or 10.30pm n wakes at 7.30 or 8am. Thank goodness he is back to sleeping through the night again without waking. 

His appetite been huge these days. Must be another growth spurt. He's chucking down like 220-200ml each session. Which is really a lot since his usual prior sickness was average 160ml saved for the morn 200ml when he first woke. We are wondering if it's not growth spurt, then he must be making up for lost fats. He has definitely lost weight after that horrid 3 weeks of sickness n small food intake. Now, he is chomping down his solids and his milk like a champ! 

He's keeping longer awake hours now. Averaging 10 waking hours a day. The best way was to go out n keep him distracted with new surroundings. Then he will be really exhausted when he gets back. Save me having to play with him for long hours.

Meanwhile, I am trying to ward away this annoying stuff nose n start of a cough. It has been bothering me for a while. It's not full blown but it's not gone either. Irritating. 

Another of my gf seem to be struggling a lot with new parenthood. Her boy can't seem to sleep well. Well, it's partly her own fault I think. 

When the baby was discharged, she didn't take my advice to swaddle the baby. I told her she had to Wrap his hands to prevent jerking motion. Just leave his legs free to move. I even recommended the really good swaddle me up bag for newborn. Instead of trusting me, she said her confinement lady tell her don't need to swaddle and she told me that Canada don't swaddle babies. I left it to her n her decision since its her baby. 

Yet few weeks later, she shared that her baby is not sleeping well, always restless n keep waking up coz he gets startled by his own hands jerking. After 3 weeks she decides oh she better swaddle. 

I told her to go get the sleep bag that will keep newborn snug n prevent jerking. 2 weeks later she complain baby still crying n not sleeping well. I ask what happen n the bag don't work? She said baby still jerking and active in sleep. I was surprised the bag didn't work since it worked so well with my boy n another excolleague whom I had given the bag to (her baby had the same jerking crying problem) 

After chatting a while, then I realise she didn't use the bag I recommend but put the baby in a sleeveless sleeping bag. 

*face palm* how will sleeveless bag help your hand jerking motion? Didn't I explain to u already?? 

I replied that sleeveless sleep bags are really only good for 3 months onwards because those are more for preventing them Kicking blankets off rather than for hands (strangely my boy likes his blanket. Lol) 

So after close to 1.5month, my gf n her hubby are still experimenting n mucking around instead of just heeding my advice to get the tried n tested product for their problem. She remarked "your baby is really so much easier to look after than mine"

I didn't tell her coz I don't wait around till the problem manifest into a sleep problem! I mean a sleepless baby has got to be a cranky one right?! 

18 Nov: decision...

Spoke to my man about maid's request to let her continue working. 

We thought about it and debate the pros and cons. My personal stance is to release her but my hubby is more reluctant because he said I won't be able to cope with an increasingly demanding boy. He raised the issue of cooking and buying groceries and cleaning up after cooking. He said he doesn't have bandwidth to do all that. Even if we hire part time at hk70 an hour, it's gonna be very ex. But most of all, he said having gone thru 2 weeks of hell with baby refusing to sleep at night n both of us sick, it is handy to keep her on hand till we can find someone better.

But of course he recognise n agreed with the fact that this maid has broken out trust n that she frustrates us n it's something worth factoring in. She will undeniably revert to her ownself once she cannot cope if there's a slight change of norm.

So my husband propose to keep her with last warning, that the next time she throw tantrum, there will be no Speeches or conversation. Out of the house she goes immediately. Also, we will lay down terms that if we decide to hire additional help, she will shut up n don't complain n just work along. If she's not happy she can leave. 

It's not ideal but well I guess I have to try it out. No choice since unlike sg where hawker centered aplenty, HK is tougher where I live in central. I don't want to be spending hk200 every meal to eat out. 

Sigh. 

10 Nov: sacking maid part 1

I knew the stupid one couldn't last long if I keep exposing her mistakes. She's the kind of useless emo type who is so self righteous. 

So after repeated days of pointing out her mistakes, she finally call it quits herself or perhaps she thought she can use "termination" to blackmail me. Too bad, I don't get threaten by your stupidity. So I told her I accept. The story goes 

Monday is grocery shopping day and again instead of asking my husband for money, she hassled me again. I got really fed up coz I'm tired n was rushing to prep milk n there she is again, bloody hindering me. I asked her "next time can u ask sir for money and stop asking me in the morn?" It's like she think I'm

Damn free? I ask her where's the shopping list and meal list. She gave it to me and i was fed up again 

After 3-4 days of telling her no chicken, she wrote "braised chicken" again. After telling her 3 days no chilli, she wrote "tofu with chilli" again. Told her just steam fish before and she wrote "braised fish ( which needs to fry first) is she an idiot? Wait. We have established that already. 

So I crossed out every thing and I looked at her shopping list. Again she wrote squid when we told her before, don't buy seafood unless you cooking that day. No where in Monday Tuesday dishes were there squid. There are 2 packs of new eggs, she still want to buy eggs. Tell her buy green vege, she still buy bean sprout and hairy gourd. See what I mean by stubborn mule? 

After I cross out her rubbish list, I left money on table for her. My mil walked to me saying she cooked congee for everyone. I told her to check with maid lunch menu. My mil asked n came to me "I dunno what she is saying she's mumbling. I think she say beef and chicken." "I thought I told her no chicken???? Please tell her no chicken"

I was rushing off to feed baby m take him to see doctor so I didn't bother to question my mil further. Just before I left home, I didn't trust my maid so I went kitchen to look. I asked her "what r u cooking for lunch" she just replied "beef"

Me: what beef? Can you please describe and elaborate how u r cooking the beef. I don't understand you. 

Maid: (silence) took a plastic bag n dump the contents on table showing enoki mushroom. 

Me: so u r doing beef roll wrapped enoki. Can u don't pan fry just grill

Then I left. 

I came home with baby first while my mum go wet market to get fish n soup ingredient. I put the baby to sleep n came lunch, I saw braised chicken next to beef. 

I waited till I finish lunch n she was clearing plate to ask "how come there's chicken? I Thot my mil told you no chicken?" My maid said "oh nai nai says she wants to eat chicken" I don't believe her but I kept quiet n walk away.

My mil came back ate her lunch but chicken remained untouched. I asked my mil "I Thot u told her no chicken?"  My mil said "I did. I told her but she say she wants to cook chicken coz the chicken in fridge very long already. So she ask me can I eat the chicken. I told her if she must cook chicken then I eat abit but the rest of family coughing and will not eat."

So u see the difference? My mil will not lie. She will not change story. Yet my maid version n my mil Varies n I believe my mil. I didn't confront stupid one. I just mark it down. 

My mil wanted to cook soup and fish for dinner. I was helping her prepare and making her fruit juice for her. I just ignore the useless one. We were in the kitchen happily chit chatting n ms tantrum went to her room and shut the door. I went to open the door coz when door is close there is no air movement n kitchen is hot. To my annoyance, the bitch lock the door. We told her before unless she is changing clothes, she cannot lock the door esp since we also need to access laundry area n our handy tools are there. I knocked on the door twice no response. So obviously not changing. I repeated knock on the door still no response. I was pissed. I walked out to look for maid keys. Just as I found it, the bitch open the door. I walk back to kitchen and saw she paste this huff puff note on the door. 

In short she wants me to terminate her because she says I'm not happy with her work and she is very stress and she is not perfect. She say she try her best. 

In my head I think if this is your best, bless u when u r not. 

So I told her "I accept your resignation. U tell me the dates". I went to the room to print out official letter template from HK immigration labour division. 

I knew bitch expect me to terminate her but I refuse. I insist it's resignation. She stood there defiant refusing to sign saying that she wants termination. I told her she raised the issue of not able to work so she is the one resigning. I will not write as terminate. She will carry on working as I demand if she don't resign. She keep shaking her head saying no, she wants to be terminated saying she wants to find new employer. I refuse to back down either. 

The reason I refuse to state terminated is this. If terminated I have to pay her off during the one month notice if I want her out of my house earlier. If she resign, I only need to pay her till the last working day. If she choose to leave early then she has to pay me back the 1 month notice remainder. I don't intend to benefit her esp when she has been pissing me off. 

She keep saying she's stressed and say when she need to pay for the kitchen sink cover. 

I was irritated n retorted" do u have bad English? Do u know how to read? I wrote if you damage the sink cover again the NEXT time, u will pay for new one. I didn't ask you pay for this one did I?" She cried n keep saying in raised voice "why I pay. I not intentional. It's not my fault the screw came off"

So I replied "when did I ask u to pay for this time? Did u pay? No. Did I take money from you? No. Did you get money deducted? No. So don't you accuse me of making you pay. I wrote NEXT time. I don't care if it's intentional or not because u damage, you pay. It's in the contract. Your job is to be careful. It's your job to make sure everything is in proper condition. It's your job to make sure you are not careless. I just bought this 2 weeks ago and u telling me you cannot tell the screw is loose? You didn't even bother to check. So I highlight to you your mistake now and warn u next time same mistake you pay. Why should I have to pay for your mistake repeatedly?"

She keep saying not intentional and shd don't have so much money to be deducted and I told her "then DONT be careless. If you are careful who will deduct your money? But your problem is if I tell you nicely you don't care or you forget. You don't respect me and my instructions. How many times did I make you pay for your other mistakes? Everytime you forget to buy things, or take things you bought, I have to pay for your bus trip $12. Did I make you pay for the bus? No. But my point is why should I be paying repeatedly for your carelessness? One time 12$. 10 times 120$. I can buy a lot of food with 120$. U are wasting my money and did I say anything to you? No. So don't you dare complain about me warning you from now on not to repeat your mistakes.

To be cont

7 Nov: Stupid one continues to be/ act stupid

Even if the stupid maid is not tired of hearing, I'm sick n tired of repeating myself. 

HANG the fricking clothes and NOT clip upside down!!!!

The fuckwit still refuse or too stupid to understand the word Hang??? She knows how to hang her own clothes correctly but when it comes to my clothes, she suddenly become stupid and don't know how to hang?? Which part of the instructions "hang clothes with hangers, don't clip upside down" that she cannot understand??? 

I caught her doing it last night but my mil quickly hang it. Today just 5 mins ago, she did it again. No wonder her former Sg employer want to punch her. She deserves it. She is sooooo stupid and stubborn and gives u black face that you really want to slap her silly. It's worse than talking to the wall coz st least the wall don't turn black and give u the irritated look. 

I refuse to rectify it for her. I stand there and hold the hanger and told her curtly "HANG. NOT clip." She stare at the clothes like morons do and then took it from me. God, how can anyone be soooooooooooooooooooooooo stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid????

Anycase, now that I know we are gonna rid her, I shall contain myself for a while longer still our plan B can materialise. 

Stupidity does kill. It can shorten ones lifespan even if not contagious. Now I can understand why some autistic or even normal kids with very high IQ gets frustrated with us average joe. Just dealing with ONE moron maid is bad enough.

Lunch, I had to go out buy congee. Stupid one cook chicken yesterday and even though my mil told her we cannot eat chicken (when she was prepping fish to steam n stupid one was lingering in kitchen to pretend to be useful) , stupid one still wants to cook chicken for lunch. I don't even want to talk to her and just kept the chicken back in fridge. 

My hubby told her don't have to cook for us, we will go buy. She only need to cook vege. 5 mins I walk into kitchen and stupid one wanted to cook rice without even checking with us. Stupid one thinks she's being smart. I stop her saying "don't need to cook rice"

She will pause 10secs then give black face and walk back her room. 

It's ok. Keep walking back your room. Pretty soon u will have no room to go to when I boot your sorry arse out. 

6 Nov: smile mummy smile:)

This is the only reason I can still smile when I have to face a moron day in day out. My little cheeky monkey:)

6 Nov: the annoyance continues, part 2.

So while I was in the room with baby from 1.30-2.45pm, I have no idea what fucktard was doing outside since I didn't hear anything. 

I came out and she heard me and walk out pretending that she is going to start cleanin the living room. 

I asked her "Have you vaccum the carpets in living dining room?" She said "baby sleeping". I told her baby is not sleeping so she can vaccum before my in laws come back and want to watch tv. 

I finished saying that and was mashing baby food in dining room on the table when she starts to vaccum the dining room carpet. I look at her incredulously and asked "can u vaccum the living room first?" She replied "oh I finish here first." She just live to annoy me. I mean there's no one in living room and you cannot vaccum there first?? You just have to vaccum here when I'm prepping food and going to feed baby? you just keep demonstrating u r really brainless. 

So I told her off sternly "NO. U go vaccum living room first." The stupid one has the cheek to ask "oh only vaccum

Carpet?" I replied "of course you vaccum the WHOLE area right?!!!" Then she begrudgingly took the vaccum over. 

When I was feeding baby, she finish vaccum just as my in laws came back. They went marketing so that can make soup n steam fish tonight. We are sick of her cooking. She cook me chicken n prawns which are the worst food to eat when coughing. Plus the prawns are no good. So I didn't eat much lunch either. 

I notice the tissue box was almost empty. So I went to pantry to get new one while carrying baby. To my displeasure, the stupid one fail to follow my request to take all the boxes out from the packaging n stack them. I have told her nicely just few days ago to remove all the plastic because it's easier for me to grab a box when I'm rushing or with baby one hand. The fuckwit forgot again n didn't do wat I told her to. So I stood there and ask her "can u please remove all the plastic packaging? I told u before to remove it"

She stood there n still argue with me "oh let me vaccum first" I got really irritated with her. "I NEED the tissue now. Can you just go get it n remove the plastic"

The stupid one went to pantry grab a box  and put it on table. Then she wants to vaccum again when everyone was at the dining table. See what I mean she wants to do things HER way? I hand baby to husband n walk to pantry n the plastic packaging are all still there. She rather go  stand in living room waiting for people to

Leave from dining to vaccum then follow my instruction to spend 2 min to remove packaging. I swear I want to slap her. 

So in my pissed off mode, I remove all the plastic packaging and throw it on the floor. She can go pick it up. 

Guess what? She pick up the plastic and decided she won't vaccum anymore and went off to do other stuff when there's no one now in the dining room. I waited to see what she's up to and after half hour, still no sign of her. 

So I told my hubby to tell her to vaccum. I know I will yell at her if I were to face her. 

What do you call people like that? Stubborn Brainless fucktard. 

Thank god stupidity is not contagious.. 

2 Nov: Follow up..my man encounter with the stupid one

So after reading my note this morn, miss tantrum refuse to speak to me. Instead of 30mins, she took one hour to wash car.  Fine by me. The less I see your face the better. 

When my man woke up, I told him to ask the maid himself what happened to the cereal he requested her to buy 2 days ago, and again the query note he left her yesterday morn asking for cereal

I kept away from their conversation coz I can already predict what miss dumbarse will say. 

As expected, after my husband spoke to her (I overheard him saying "if you don't buy u need to tell me right?" ) her face was blacker than charcoal. 

My husband updated me an hour later after the stupid one left home making excuse she need to buy groceries. I didn't want to see her face so I let her go even though she has not done her chores. 

I asked him wat happened to his cereal since she refuse to explain to me. He said the stupid one said she went causeway bay and didn't see it. Hello? You know how many supermarkets there are in CWB? My husband said "you can get that everywhere what do u mean u don't see it? Also u need to come back, central Jason market is near the bus stop n u couldn't walk there to buy?" Then she changed her excuse that she forgot. 

My husband was annoyed by her attitude and told her "Look u need to tell us when you don't buy things that we instruct u n give money to buy.  For whatever reason u don't want to buy, u explain to us" she just kept quiet. She think keeping quiet is like super good of her. 

Anyone following my posts will know this is not the first time she refuse to tell us wat she didn't buy. Things for herself she will rem, for us she won't. My husband said to me " that's it. She's finished in my book. Gave her enough chances. We look for new help. This one is stubborn and stupid and nothing goes into that head" no common sense. 

My mother in law who is the nicest lady also weigh in that this maid has mood swings and black face. How dare she even give my in laws who did nothing to deserve her black face.

During interview we had specifically told her we don't want to see black face. We prefer open communication. Even after her first 2 tantrums, I told her I

Don't want to see black face but hey, does she care? No. When she was begging for a job, she of course will promise the sky. She forgets that we are not at her mercy, she is and this contract if terminated will be her 3rd unfinished job. Good luck on track record. 

So she went "grocery shopping" for 2 hours plus and just got back. She had NOT done any housework. I have already done 3 loads of washing laundry. The last load, I left it for her to hang. Even AFTER I wrote to HANG with clothes hanger, the MORON still clip the clothes to the hanger with the shirts upside down which is what I hate coz the water will pool down wards at the sleeves which is the hardest to dry and will stink. After correcting her for 5 months and she keep the clothes I hang for 5 months, you are THAT stupid to not see how it's being done not to Mention I have shown u and even write down instructions for you? If this is not deliberate defiant, then she is even more stupid than my dog. 

I text my husband that the rooms are not clean. His response was don't bother to talk to her, she's going to be sack. Only a matter of when. 

Honestly, I can't wait for that day to come. 

2 Nov : I think I'm almost done with my maid

I can't exactly point a reason, but I really dislike my maid. I'm not sure if it's her constant blackface when you point out her mistake, throw her tantrum or the fact she like to Question my instructions, or she is so damn forgetful and careless that it grates my nerves because that means I cannot relax around her. 

I try my best to close one eye when she falls short. That means working around her stupidity. For example

1. She consistently fail to top up my hot water thermal flask so that means I have to eat into my precious sleep time every night after midnight to fill up 3 flasks, and 2 drinking container. That's at least 20mins - 30mins gone 

2. I told her repeatedly not to pay for plastic bags but use recycle bags at home when grocery shopping at supermart. I showed her the mountain load of bags we have. There must be at least 20 bags of various sizes and thickness. Yet, just 2 days after I reminded her, she still went ahead to ignore my instructions and come back with plastic bag. If it was a very busy day I can understand but no, yesterday we gave her half day morn time off to

Go mongkok to fix her faulty phone (which she use to chat with her friends not for us). We were out the whole day so she didn't have to cook lunch. So there was no rush and yet she just conveniently ignore my requests. 

3. I told her out cooking knives set is very expensive. So please wash and dry immediately and put it back in the rack. Several times I caught her dumping my knives with pointed end downwards into the metal cutlery holder. She already blunt one knife but I gave her benefit of doubt but repeatedly she did it. I lead by example that everytime I use the knives, I would wash it myself n dry keep it but she still "forgets" or can't be bothered. To work round that and prevent myself from getting upset repeatedly, I took ALL my good expensive knives away n store in the baby food prep cabinet n leave her the crappy ikea knife and the good knife she blunted that she can abuse all she wants. To work with stupid mindless people like her, it's pointless being understanding n patient. I think 5 months is enough time to give her benefit of doubts n chance to correct her ways.

4. I told her my husband does not like her meat patties and don't cook that for him for meals. My husband has even told her himself. Yet repeatedly she put it as one of the dish in the meals planner I told her to write. So one morn last week, always at my busiest, she ask me to vet the list. I told her sir don't like meat patties why are u cooking that? It's not like she was asking first then buy ingredients. It's she already bought it and expect us to eat it anyway. Otherwise the ingredients goes to waste right? She give me black face when I told her to think of another dish. Too tired to talk to stubborn moron. So I told her "if u don't believe me, u can ask sir yourself when he wakes up if he wants to eat your meat patties

So she actually waited for an hour for him to wake. 

She asked him herself n my husband said no. No meat patties. She quietly slink out of the room n didn't say anything as she walk past me. I stopped her n asked "so does sir wants to eat your meat patties?" She said "no" with a stupid smile and went to kitchen. At that moment , I ask myself. "Why do u think u would know my husband better than I do? U r only here 5 months. Who do u think u r to try to overrule my decision or instructions?" I think that really rub me the wrong way that she actually thinks she might be correct n wait to ask my husband rather than just follow my request to cook another dish. 

5. Cooking. We repeatedly told her add less salt. She again either has a bloody plastic tastebud it again refuse to follow instructions. The chicken was so salty none of us inclusive of my in laws who like salty food can eat it. This must be the 5th time. I had it. I told my husband to tell her to strike the dish off the menu forever since she just won't listen. After we told her we won't eat it, she bothered me again hours later when I'm busy prepping baby milk to ask "wat to do with chicken". I told her "throw! No one can eat it" she looks clearly unhappy. I should be more unhappy coz that's like hk$80 down the drain for the chicken thighs. 

6. Told her don't put chilli in cooking coz my in laws don't eat spice. Ignore me. I felt bad when my in laws started to cough and choke at food at the chilli spice. In my head I was thinking "u fking bitch. U write on the fridge no chilli but still cook chilli" I was very upset with her even though my in laws didn't say much. But u know they reach their limits too when they rather eat out.

7. Repeatedly we tell her buy food or groceries, again, never inform us when she didn't buy it. My husband open the cabinet n asked me" where's the cereal?" I told him ask the stupid one. He wrote a note in the morn to ask her. Again she ignore his note and said nothing. I'll see what her moron excuse is later. 

8. I have shown her n told her to use hangers to hang to dry clothes. She repeatedly ignore n just clip the clips on the rack. The fan though on wasn't even blowing at the clothes but into empty space. U don't call that stupid? The reason I told her is clothes won't dry properly n will stink if she do it her way. Don't listen. 

So last night, I am so sick of talking to stupid one that I wrote down all the things she failed to do n the way to do it correctly. This morn she read the note but of course miss tantrum not happy and started to bang around the kitchen when she washes the plates. If that's not deliberate, I swear pigs will grow wings n fly. 

Last night I told my husband, I don't think I can last very long with this stupid tantrum cow. My quality of life is affected and she's constantly upsetting me. I don't feel peaceful. He said he leave it to me since she doesn't bother him much as he doesn't have to deal with her. So we decided to start looking again for new replacement. I think life is too short to be constantly upset at some one who is hopeless. 

I realise I really need to let her go when she is affecting the kind of person I am. I actually lost all sympathy for her! I don't like this negative person she is turning me into. That's a dangerous slippy slope when one loses the feeling to empathise with someone else pain. I say that because the other night, she was in kitchen waiting for the grilled pork to cook. I walked into kitchen to get pot to cook baby food and wasn't even talking to her. She asked me the same question "wat time is dinner" my same repeated reply "same time" thinking u already grill the pork, it's almost done. How can I Change time even if I want to? As my back was turn to her, I didn't see it but I heard her went ouch ouch oh my god. I turn around to see her holding her hand. I  didn't need to ask but knew she burnt her hand again while day dreaming.

At that moment, I didn't feel sorry for her. Instead in my head I went "again? How stupid can one be to repeatedly burnt herself in few months and not learn?" No one was rushing or distracting her either. She stood there going ouch and I told her, run under cold water before she move. The first few times she burnt herself I was rather concerned. I would help Ice her n find cream. 5 months on when she did it so many times, i got numb n Immuned to her. I just walk out of kitchen after telling her "ice it" I didn't feel a thing and that night I kept pondering, how could I not feel a thing? 

I get upset over injured cats n dogs or abandoned strays. I would tear seeing I'll treated people and yet before me this person told me she burnt her hand again, I had no shred of emotion except "again?!?"

That's when I know I'm really done with her. If I cannot feel for her, that means she's really invisible to me n she's turning me to this awful person I don't like. 

Wish me luck on my search for a better maid.

29 Oct:

Took little bub out to grocery shop. It's a good day

While walking to the bus stop from home, the mini bus came and I was thinking damnit, can't walk fast enough to make it. To my pleasant surprise, this Filippino guy who was last in the Q saw me and decided to semi board the bus. Meaning he told the bus driver to wait, put one leg on the steps n waited for me. He made sure I could board the bus and told me to

Take me time. It's moments like this that is really heart warming!! 

Then in the supermarket, because I was carrying my boy in the baby carrier, I couldn't quite comfortably bent down to grab stuff and this Caucasian guy saw and helped me grabbed the stuff I need and asked if I needed anything else. 

While buying the vegetable, the packing auntie rushed to the back (telling another customer to just wait for her to come back) to cut up the squash into smaller portions for me coz she saw me juggling my boy and other groceries.

At Starbucks, the barista saw me waiting for my take away order while standing with a baby, he told me to sit down and will serve me my order when it's ready. He packed and took everything to me personally in one bag so that I can rest my feet while waiting and mind you he was busy and not like a quiet free moment. (HK Starbucks always have impressive customer service in most branches I go to on HK island) 

When I walked to the cab, the driver opened the auto door and told me to take my time and even tell me to forget the $2 ( the fare was $41.70) coz baby is sleeping. 

Today I declare is a good day. 

Actually every time I go out with baby, it's mostly a good day. Everyone seems to give me considerable considerations. Feeling thankful!

30 Oct: falling sick

Sigh...Just after tending to sick bub for almost 2 weeks, I knew I would be falling sick at the rate of sleep deprivation I was going while the little one has recovered. Hit with runny nose and sore throat.

My in laws were away for the week and my man finally tried to help more. To give him due credit, he has been doing all the late afternoon 4pm feed and night feed while I continue to prep dinner and wash the bottles etc. He also try to help bath baby now since I have upgraded him to shower instead of bath tub since I found it a solid pain in arse to change water when he pee in the middle of wash. It's tough to watch a wet baby n change water at the same time. So I figured 6months+ is good enough to sit on my lap and shower like adults. Interestingly the little one like his showers. He actually protest when it's done. Funny boy. 

Well maybe it dawned on Daddy it won't be fun for him if I do seriously fall ill and he will have to take over completely. Or that he's very thankful that despite my lack of sleep, I still brought his mum to hospital to see a specialist for her health concerns and that sapped up 4 hours of my time. Anycase, So both of us are trying to keep the damage to the minimal right now.

After weeks of accumulating resentment n annoyance, I def feel better now that he's pitching in abit after his parents arrived. Perhaps he realised I really am

Not a superwoman no matter how efficient and organised I am. He's too used to me covering everything for him...sigh. Maybe he just feel mentally more supported with his folks around. I don't know. I just take watever I can get. 

Today he actually suggested about getting third party help like professional nanny so that I can rest. Did he chance upon my blog? Lol. I told him I will look into it. Just that am too overwhelm now to research. 

Today, hubby made me ginger honey tea for my itchy throat since I can't have lozenges. Sipping all the love...he's feeding baby his congee that I prep. Finally I can rest...

21 oct: sick baby

Since last Friday, my boy caught a cold from his grandpa. That means nitemare for me after managing to keep him away from virus for so long. Sigh. 

I had 3 consecutive sleepless nights because I would finish milk pumping and food prep by 2.30am. Get to bed by 3am and baby will cry with blocked nose. For one night I literally had to sit up and carry him chest to chest to help him Sleep. He gets bits and pieces of sleep every 45 mins or so but I couldn't coz I didn't want to drop him. Yet the next day my routine starts all over again. No one cut me much slack though my mil did help to carry n watch him while I get ready his food etc. 

By 3rd day on Sunday I was exhausted. My husband drag us out on sat for my mil birthday lunch and boy was fussing abit but still in good spirits. But he was tired n so I suffered for it at night when he didn't sleep well. Sunday, my in laws and husband went to attend relative birthday lunch, that leaves me alone with sick baby at home. I didn't even get to eat anything until they came back late afternoon. So imagine how tired n hungry I was on Sunday. I close my eyes for a bit but couldn't stay awake n fell asleep at 4pm. I woke up with a start at 6.30pm coz I missed his solid feeding at 6pm. I dashed out n saw my husband watching TV with my mil and I asked where's baby? My husband said asleep. My m said she had helped fed him (coz she saw the congee I prep on table in the heat thermos). She told me to go back sleep but was too close to dinner time so I went to bathe instead. My mil laughed about my panicked face. Well I did panicked there for a while thinking my son went hungry while I dozed off.

Sunday night my husband went to sleep at 1am but I'm still struggling to stay awake at 2.30am to make baby food and helping my in law and husband fill up China visa application form for their trip next weekend. I don't know why my husband thinks I'm Superwoman sometimes. By the time I slept was 3.30am n I woke at 5am by baby. Had to try to get him to Sleep till 7am before I feed him. 

By 9.30am we all have to rush out because I had to take my in laws n husband to China visa place. The whole thing dragged out till 11am. Then I dashed off to take baby to see doctor about his fever n running nose. Reached home at 1pm n missed his feeding at 12pm.

Monday night due to meds I got some sleep. Baby woke at 5am. 4 hours felt good. My first 4 hours since months n months ago.

Tuesday onwards I still get awaken by boy with his stuff nose coz his father thinks boy was recovering n don't need meds. Who takes the brunt of his decision? Me. 

Husband was happily asleep on his own in his own room while I have to carry baby to sleep again from 4.30-6.30am. 

Tuesday. Husband birthday. 

Had to take baby out again for birthday lunch. Another long tiring day. Tuesday night, I dunno why him n my mil couldn't convince my father in law to take cab to relative place. My FIL wanted save money to take bus but his legs ain't good. So again, the son left it to me to persuade my FIL. Wasn't too hard coz luckily my FIL really listens to me and usually will take my suggestions. Many times my FIL will discount wat my husband says n ask to defer to my opinions or for me to do things for him. There was once I rem my husband will say "I'm your son how can u don't believe me?" My FIL reply "coz I trust your wife" my husband felt abit miffed by that. I thought it was funny. It's strange sometimes. My FIL is like the good father I never had. 

Wednesday, I'm still doing EVERYTHING. My in laws went out to visit relatives and my husband hole up in His room to study while I was still slogging over our son from feeding to washing up. I barely had time to pump. 

I fell asleep in afternoon next to baby after tucking son to sleep. Therefore I overslept n was an hour late feeding him dinner. Then I had to bathe him and feed him solid. At this moment, I truly felt like single mother. 

Finally he realised I'm not saying a word tonight at dinner time. Then he offered to feed him the next milk session after I told him I have not pumped since 3pm and it's 9pm now. 

Yet even after I prep the breastmilk in fridge, he went to feed formula. When have I ever feed formula on this session? Formula had always been last meal midnight dream feed. I was pretty indignant and of course he raised his voice he dunno. 

Dunno dunno, every fuckinv thing also dunno. I told him to put baby clothes to wash coz his poo poo stain his clothes. His first response "I don't know how to use this washing machine" so I had to write down the mode, steps and instructions. 

Baby had stuff nose n after the last feed he left him and told me he wants to go jogging. So that means I can't nap. In my head one word, selfish. Then as I blog this my boy cried blue murder due to block nose. He of course can pretend he can't hear. I have to come get baby n calm him down. 

This weekend they will be off to china for 2 full days. So again I'm all alone. Inside im starting to feel emotionally unstable, mounting resentment. He hasn't realise it yet because rem, I'm not allowed to show it or he will pick a fight. 

Tomorrow, I still have to help his mum call for OBGyn to make appointment see doc, help arrange cut hair appointment.