While it's nice to be reconnected with some of my ex-colleagues, it can always be a damper when someone tries to burden you with their problems constantly.
There's a colleague whom in the past, has always had financial management issues. She had been around borrowing money from some common friends and though she did repay her loans, it's still not a very nice thing to constantly be known as someone who may ask you for money assistance anytime.
Recently, we got together just to catch up and before long, she started to pour her life miseries on me. Okie, as a friend, I am fine to listen to you and share some life experiences. However, she started to call and cry on the phone and say she lost her money which she was to repay her mum and that her mum do not believe her etc. I didnt know if she had wanted me to offer her money. It wasnt a big sum but HK$1000 is not the same as HK$100, and plus I really dont want to make it a habit for her to constantly approach friends for money when it is not critical. So I didnt offer her but told her to just tell her mum that there is nothing she can do if she dont believed her. Plus, it isnt that she isnt going to pay her back, it's just delay for a month until her next salary. Plus I told her, why couldnt she had just do a bank auto transfer than put the money in her pocket and dropped it? Seriously, who will put HK$1000 in a pocket just like that carelessly when it's 1/9 of your monthly income? Honestly I told her, apart from nagging, what can her mum do seriously.
My friend didnt ask me for money, but the topic never stop revolving round it. Personally, I found it kind of draggy.
Everyone has our own problems. It's one thing to have someone listen, but another to give the kind of signal as if you are expecting someone to help you out financially. Between family is ok, but between friends, I have a personal policy not to loan friends money unless it really is a matter of life and death, which in this case I deemed it not to be.
Had wanted to go do some exercise yesterday but got held up by her phone call for over 2 hours and ended up unable to go ahead as planned. Couldnt even do my homework since it was too late by the time I finished dinner and all.
Today, just when I settled down to do some work, she texted me again to ask if she could meet me again tonight. I had a choice, to ignore my own responsibilities as a student and abandon my work or go out and listen to her sob story again. I decided against meeting her. I need to prioritise myself and owe it to myself to do the stuff I need as well. So I told her I really cannot meet her as I have homework to do and my class is tomorrow. Perhaps it may come across selfish, but selfishly, I dont want to be dragged down by someone life miseries and wallowing in self pity.
Granted that her mum is money-face and all based on her story, but there is nothing she can do. So talking about it wont make it go away and indulging in the matter emotionally will lead to nowhere.
We all have our family issues. It's not the issues that make us who we are. Its how we view and deal with the problems that makes us stronger or weaker.
So I am sorry my friend. I really dont want to listen to your negative stories all week long.
I need more uplifting things for a change of mood. You are already 30years old. You should have your own directions and learn to deal with things on your own. No one can always be there for you. That is the facts of life.