Friday, December 18, 2009

Afterthought from a korean variety show

The thing about most Singapore guys I have met and known, they are truly very sweet. As one would put it, very "husband" material... They might not be the most fashionably eye catching of the lot, or sacharine sweet with their words. Yet it is the deeply steeped Chinese notion that man should be the "protector and provider", rather than the Western "equal partnership" that makes them rather adorable.

To demonstrate this "husband" quality. Just the other day during the wedding dinner, we were served with steamed prawns, with shells intact. I was just joking cheekily that this is the moment where I miss my parwn peeling husband the most. Upon that, 2 guys from the same table volunteer to peel the prawns for us ladies. Without further ado, the guys peeled the steaming hot prawn with gusto and placed them in a bowl for us ladies. Impressed is an understatement... Singapore women who has no qualms about putting down, and reserving only nasty words for our local men while placing men from other nationality on high pedestal need to honestly review their own restrictive opinions.

I was watching a recent Korean variety show where over a dozen women from various countries were invited in a show to share their views. Without doubt, the ladies raised from a western culture have a very different set of values and mindset from us who are raised in an Asian environment.

In Asia, from education to dating, it is not uncommon for children to consider the feelings and opinions of our parents. Their inputs may not have the final say but their views have a certain level of weightage. Ladies from Korea, Japan, Taiwan were sharing that marriage is about the merging of 2 families, where receiving parental blessing is the best ideal situation. We would like our partners to get along well with our parents since some have to live together. Otherwise, the path ahead would be a rocky and laborious.

The western ladies on the otherhand were like crusaders on a mission, strongly putting down the views of the asian ladies, insisting that love is only about 2 people, and no one else should have a say in who they choose to love. Love is everything without a need for consideration. It was almost unthinkable for them to stop and weigh the need to balance the feelings of their family vs their personal need to be with someone they love. The thought of serving their spouse's parents was almost like a figment of imagination.

When the subject moved to receiving education funds from parents, 95% of people from the western societies found it strange and abnormal for university students not to be self supporting. The idea of receiving a continuing allowance and fees paid by parents (if they can afford it without effort) was like a foreign concept. The asian ladies defended their stand, that there is nothing wrong with our asian practice since without working part time, we are able to focus on the studies and excel in it. Which is why in asian countries, children continued to give a monthly nominal spending allowance to their parents as a form of gratitude from the day they join the working community.

It was very interesting to watch the debate between the 2 differing societies. The fiery call for independence and fulfilling of self of those from western society vs the more "submissive" need to observe the social norm of respecting the view of your parents in the oriental east. I personally root for the eastern values of course.

In Western countries, parents are treated as just friends. In traditional Asia countries, parents enjoyed a relative higher status. In modern days, it is a growing trend that parents are encourage not to talk down to children, but to treat them as equal, as friends. Frankly, it's an unconceivable idea if you ask me, to treat a child below 15year old as a friend.

Personally, parents are parents at the end of the day and should never receive the equal level of treatment as a friend does. For everything they had sacrifice to rise a child, parents deserve every ounce of respect and much more than a friend should. This is especially if they had performed their parental duties of caring for u, and watching out for you. Their views may not always be right nor in sync, but that doesnt mean as an adult, we are free to brush them off.

An after weddin party night to remember...

After attending my friend's dinner, I couldnt help but wonder. Are some women more in love with the idea of marriage and wedding dinner, or the actual marriage?

Some brides put in sooooooooooo much (overly so) effort, time and money into the wedding preparation, so much so that they lose all perspective of the meaning of a marriage. Wedding dinner isnt everything but some women simply think their world will collapse if something goes wrong on that day or nite. It's preposterous to me, the idea of throwing so much money into organising a wedding dinner that your guest hardly appreciates much, or worse, remember much of it.

Who the hell are going to recall those hundred photo slides of YOU and partner? Do people really care about the half dozen "wedding" outfits you don and snap expensive pictures of? Frankly, no one does except u. And so, is it really worth splurging thousands of dollars for that momentary flash of ego? I never cease to be amused by these flaunting of the "beautiful" moments.

Marriage is between 2 people, 2 families. Making the it work right is way more important than making it LOOK right.

In the recent wedding I attended, the behaviour of the bride totally astound me. While I have always known her to be on the loutish side, her uncouth outburst with a mouthful of vulgarities put me-the listener to shame on her behalf.

Firstly, it was already rare for all the guests to be punctual at 7.30pm. However, for selfish reasons, the wedding banquet didnt start till 9.30pm. The reason being the videophotographer had misspell the bride's name within the video and was late delivering the final masterpiece. Frankly, the video wasnt spectacular and half of the guests didnt even bother with it when it was "telecast". I couldnt fathom why there was this insistence that the video has to be "aired" and timed with the "march in". Couldnt they have just allow the guests to consume our dinner and readjust the nite's program rather than selfishly going ahead with their (her) plans?

Casting that aside, the groom called and asked me and my friend to return to their hotel suite for after dinner bash at 12.30am. At that nite, I was already at another hotel finishing up my catch up drink with my friend and ready to head home. Being his nite, we obliged and took a cab back to his hotel room.

As i entered the room, the scene shocked me a little. Apart the place resembling a smoky den, the bride in her "normal" gear, standing with a cig in hand and swearing away to her friends kinda had me reeling in shock. I have to confess, I am not at ease with such coarse brutish behaviour especially from a woman, since none of my own girlfriends (and guys) are that uncouth. This is one of those moments where I honestly believe apart from upbringing, the environment you are schooled in makes hell of a difference. Your peers and your social interactions would not stand for such flaky conduct, so u know it is NOT ok to be cursing and swearing, swigging some alcoholic content in hand.

That aside, I thought it was a little strange that the bride and groom party are positioned separately at two ends of the room. Just as I settled down comfortably on the floor, with the groom's friends and bestmen, the groom came join us for the celebratory toast. Before I knew it, pretty soon everything went south....

While seated before me, I was completely aghast when the groom started to swear in the worst possible dialect vulgarities loudly in the direction of the bride's company. His ranting and outburst continued in ascending volume and severity and hush overwhelmed the room.

Myself and the groom's best friend grabbed him to sit down and tried to hush him, reminding him of the occasion. The bride was on full steam, charged over and started swearing and hurling her own version of vulgarity at her "newly wed" husband. She challenged him openly and demanded what it was all about. The groom told her to step aside as his quarrel is not with her (but her Malaysian bridal group). The bride refuse to let up, let go, and swear at him, stating that any insult to her friends is as good as directing it at her. She berated him, stating that he is not "giving her face". My friend yelled back "If I give you face, who is giving me face?" Oh no...the fight rages on.

The wife, in her fighting stance, was pulled back by her company while we restrained the groom, with our hands over his mouth.

The fight went on for over 2 hours. We didnt dare to leave. After having said his peace, the groom calmed down sufficiently and cooled off rapidly but the wife went on and on and on and on...saying she is not letting this go blah blah blah. She even ran out of the room and heaven knows what else while her friends went after her. Immature? Petulant? Egoistic? Non compromising? Varying opinions of her flooded my head.

I know my friend for at least 7 years now. He is not the sort of man to get angered easily. Not at work, not at personal level. I have never, ever seen him gone off at a tangent like that. Not even when someone tried to wreak his livelihood at work and "stabbed" him pointlessly. He just shrugged it off and well, ignored the pettiness around him. Hence, something about the whole wedding must have set him off.

I learnt that he had never intended to throw a wedding banquet. His wife had wanted a dinner party after the official registration of marriage and so he blew over $6k for a hotel party. Then excluding the cost of photography package where over 200pictures were selected, the bride demanded another wedding dinner which prob set him back by minimally another $30k. Frankly, it was all a waste of money.

In the room while waiting for the groom and bride to cool off, the best man confided in me what he thought of the bride - a materialistic "money grubber". The best man had not once, told the groom to halt the wedding if he has serious concerns but being typical chinese, the groom went ahead with the dinner despite much unwillingness.

Is this what marriage is about?
What a start to a life ahead together.

What startled me was how some of the girls said.
They had all pointed the fingers at the groom, yet no one had a word of rebuff for the bride. It was all very strange to me, for I had in my honest opinion felt both parties were at fault. The wife having to shoulder MORE responsibilities. For one, the husband had aleady explicitly told her a year ago that he didnt like her current Malaysian colleagues, yet she ignored his feelings and insisted on having the band as her bridal party. Secondly, she shouldnt have abused her husband verbally infront of his friends and hers, considering he had a drop too much and more than happy not to restrain his inner thoughts. Being more sober than he is, whatever domestic issues they have, it is best to settle behind close doors and not a power display show as to who has the last say.


I honestly do not think very highly of her "colleagues" as well. A bunch of inconsiderate gossip mongers who have no social awareness. I was told much later, they had deliberately ignored the groom in the morning and overplayed their hand, thus delaying the whole morning ceremony by 1.5hrs. So the groom had missed the ausipicious hour etc. Playin games is to enhance the mood and joy, bridal party must always know their place and necessary chinese custom to abide by. How would they like it is someone else messes up their own wedding?

As well, why must some women think it is a man's job to placate them? the bride simply refused to back down for something as minimal as "face" and "pride". How much is that worth in the long run? Dragging the scene and prolonging the fight with a tantrum is neither healthy nor necessarily "face saving". It is only a mirror of the personality that one has...and not a very flattering to crow about.

It's terrifying to think that alot of SG women are getting spoilt, taking their husband for granted, wanting all their partners to be henpecked and listen to them. They say it with much pride, that they wear the pants at home, forgetting that all men have pride and like to be respected equally. And these women wonder why their husbands stray and fell victim to affairs .... It is not unthinkable because these men are only able to assert themselves everywhere but home.

I have always believe that any couple's disagreement should be behind close door, between themselves. In that situation, I probably would have been equally mad as the bride but rather than venting it straight out at my husband, I would have clear the guests and trashed it out privately. It is pointless to fight before others, and especially when one has no clue to what had set the husband off.

That to me, is the difference between a marriage and a dating relationship. You have to work hard on a marriage, but u can confront and throw a relationship off anytime.

Dinner @ DOMVS Sheration

When it comes to Sue and Eric, it's always about good food for us. This time round, Susie brought us to DOMVS, the Italian restaurant within Sheraton Hotel. Susie swears by the food and dessert here, and the food lives up to its raving review.

Sue is acquainted with the chef, so we had the pleasure of his company and by extension of his warm welcome for our dinner, we had the specially crafted and artistic desserts with compliments of the chef.

Meat is expensive in HK. So without much ado, choice of the nite for me was the lamb rack in red wine sauce. Sue highly recommended the canelloni in lobster bisque and so that became her husband's pick. Prior the main, the chef indulged us with small portions of truffle risotto, again with compliments. It was sublime. None of my pictures did the meal any justice.

When all the main dishes arrived, we sampled each other's plate and it was truly divine. The lamb was cook to perfection, exactly PINK the way it was requested. Not a tad over nor under cook. Eric's share of lobster bisque was so OMG choke full of flavour that you could almost describe it "oceanic flavour". Sus's risotto was of course flawlessly served. I love everything we had that nite.

When the dessert arrived, our visual senses were tickled by the wonderfully designed artwork, specially "painted" by the chef himself. I love my flower but sus's butterfly was even better. It was utterly pretty. It was such an uplifting presentation that senses was simply heighten on its own accord.

I had the wrapped warm fig dessert, while sue had the truffle pana cotta. Eric had a 3 layer dessert made of pistachio and a mix of others which now slips my mind. Mine was really good though I must say it is a little wasted on a non fig lover like me. As her, I was more inclined towards Sus's magnificent truffle dessert....since we women are truffle lovers....

Time flew and 3 over hours swing by without us noticing. It was only when the place rang of silence apart from our conversation that we realised we were the last to pack up and leave. Again, Eric refused my share of payment and pick up the tab.

DOMVS is surely a recommended restaurant to head to for a nite of good food. Company is certainty important but havin a happy tummy to match with is the best way to end the nite with.

Missing Kinokuniya

It must sound really silly, but apart from missing good radio stations while living in HK. I missed Kinokuniya in Singapore too. 2 hours went in the blink of an eye, just from browsing the Jap and English section. None of the major bookstores that I know of in HK carries the Japanese translated section too like Kinokuniya (SG). So imagine my sensation of being in paradise to be surrounded by books of varied gendre and origins....

Thursday, December 17, 2009

All that Singapore MRT smell.!!!

Been away for the past week and back to my home town sg. Primarily it was for my friend's / ex-colleague's wedding. However, the fact that it coincided nicely with my brother's birthday was a greater motivation for me to hurl my lazy arse up the plane.

After all these years, I am still involunteerily "scammed" by the unreliable weather forecast. I was told Singapore will have thunderstorm the whole week I am scheduled to be there, but as it turned out, it was nicely bright, hot and sunny. Apart from the last day where it poured buckets just hours before my flight, everyday was perfectly dry and lovely.

Every time I return to Singapore, my impression of it got progressively worse. If I ever were to move back here, I will have to mentally adjust my mindset and expectations. People are getting more impatient, rude and incorrigible bad service are substantially abundant.

Predominatly, one of the worst highlight during the trip was the nitemarish public transport (esp train) during peak hours! I have to resort catching the cab as much as I could....IF i must absolutely leave the house that is.

If smelly armpits, sourish body odour, and oily stinking hair from shorter people isnt horrific enough, throw in a new one. The terrifying bad breath from people who just wont shut up is the new abhorrence .

I had the honor of learning that in Singapore, "standing in line -queuing up" in the orchard train station at 7.30pm is reserved only for fools and idiots. The demise of "social courtesy" in Singapore was vividly palpable at this "witching hour". None of the local commuters apparently abide by the social etiquette of waiting in line for their turn to board the train. Instead, I faced hoards of impatient, animalistic commuters who just keep cutting my line in waves, to a point that I had to miss 2 trains. Their uncouth behaviour simply know no bounds.

By the 3rd train, I gave up being obliging and even without singular effort on my part. I was unceremoniously shoved and squashed into the train from the sheer brute force of other people trying to pack themselves into the obviously jam-pack train. It was a new experience to be involuntarily snowballed literally by the relentless crowd in Singapore. When the door slammed shut, there was barely any inch of room to navigate myself comfortably.

Inside the cabin, it wasnt just elbow to elbow. I could feel the curvy bum of the person infront of me, and the boobs of the lady sticking right up to my back. To my left and right was the unwelcoming view of sweaty armpit. Within the crammed cabin, my petrifying ordeal commenced.

Being mobbed is one thing, having your fragile olfactory nerosensory being brutally raped is another! The guys reeked of unwashed bed linens for months, coupled with a strong whiff of dried overnight drool spot somewhere on them. Don't they bathe? The assault of my senses by these unexpected, unfriendly and unbearable assailants didnt stop there. The short woman before me with her oily dandruffed hair, started to chatter on. Her loud conversation was a revulsion on its own but to throw in her sulphuric breath which is akin to rotten eggs is simply revolting.. Christ! People shouldnt talk in crowded train!! Their bodily stench really bothers and upsets me.

Even just for one stop was a minute too much. I jumped off the train immediately to be released from the human hell-hole so that I would not be drawing "my last breath" in that cabin. There is NO WAY I am boarding any more peak hour train so I found another means of transport home.

Make no bones about it, the current train infrastructure simply isnt coping well with the bulging passenger trafic. The newly reinforced moronic ruling (by the SMRT authority) of inflicting monetary penalty on people caught consuming sweets in the singapore train, is also torturing its commuters with all forms of indirect air pollution in the stiffling train. The air in the cabin was hardly circulating and while the airconditioning was definitely on, it certainly was not running optimally at a comfortable temperature to dull the stench.

Hats off to the people who have to take that hell train every morning and eve during rush hour. U folks have my utmost sympathies....

Monday, December 7, 2009

Another year older my friend

Had a surprise party planned last nite for a friend...

Halfway through our Korean BBQ, we had wanted to get the birthday boy out so that we can stage the cake surprise by asking him to buy coke. We the conspirators were completely thrown off guard when the birthday boy declared he had surplus of "hidden" coke supply. As we sworn to ourselves simultaneouly in an assortment of different languages from Japanese, Cantonese, Mandarin and Korean (since the birthday boy only understood English), we scramble and started to devise Plan B on the spot. The birthday boy was a little taken back by the flurry of conversations in alien languages before him and asked us what was going on?

Ok...we were like deers caught in the headlights. The other 3 guys and I kinda blank out instantly...we looked at each other and the birthday boy was like "What?!" (still not realising it was his birthday party yet!)

In pure desperation, I cooked up the "Oh I was saying I had a craving for Rootbeer float. U dont happen to have rootbeer do you?" Our trusting birthday boy went "ohh..no i dont, but will coke do?" I had to launch into this coke vs rootbeer comparison and why coke just wont do. The rest of the guys finally found their wits and started to back me up, exclaiming it was a brillant dessert to end up with. So in the end, the poor birthay boy had to begrudingly walk out in the nite to get the rootbeer for "Ms Demanding Queen." - ME.

I could almost see it, the "Damn u woman" look in his eyes...Before he close the door, he asked again "Really ah, U really want your rootbeer float huh..." I smiled my 100watts radient smile and nodded affirmatively...

When the door closed and I heard the elevator door closed, I turned to Ed and yell "You OWE ME BIG TIME mister!!!" (since he was suppose to be the party planner!) We had only less than 10mins to clear the whole BBQ dinner left over and plates and prepare. Everyone scrambled to get the hidden cake, presents, flowers while Shin looked out of the window to watch for birthday boy's return.

Everything ran smoothly and it was so funny. The guys looked at ech other and asked. "So what do we say when he comes thru the door? Happy Birthday? Singing?" I looked at them and asked "Aint we suppose to yell SURPRISE?" and that was exactly what we did:)


As the birthday boy unlock the door and welcomed by "darkness", candles and birthday greetings, he was stumped. He broke into a wide grin. He looked at me and started laughing "SO that's what the ROOTBEER float was ALL about huh you sneaky little thing! And there I was wondering why she will make me go walk all the way..." Later on, as we fight for the last spoonful of the cake (Hyunjin lost out since he had to "give in" to me for the rootbeer float idea), we explained to the birthday boy why half the conversation was dominated in "foreign" languages to him and that we werent being deliberately rude.

It's quite amusing really, not to mention handy when we could do all the "plotting" in the open without having to act secretive...the power of multilanguages :) Not to mention, it was quite fun getting hatching the whole secret party thingie. Has been a long while since anyone around me did something like that!

The only one who probably wasnt too happy has got to carol the poor dog...she couldnt start eating till we were done...and had to locked away in the room... sorry carol!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

A day at BLISS SPA @ W hotel

Decided to do a little self pampering today and headed off to BLISS SPA next door. With the 20% discount, I thought I would check out the nail services.

It isnt a wide menu and the prices is just slightly more expensive than those nail salons out in the malls. Except that I have an endless flow of finger licking good brownies, and a whole spa facilities whole day here at my disposal. Have I mentioned how yummy delicious their brownies are? It's sooo heavenly that I almost couldnt stop until I remembered how hard I had work to get rid of those spare fats round my gut....

The receptionist girl asked when was my last pedicure. I said "oct".

"Oh, so it's not that bad then, u can go for something less heavy duty."

I was about to agree with her but something was gnawing away. About 30seconds later, I gave an involuntary yelp. "No! It's LAST oct! My friend just popped!" The girl looked at me and started laughing. I had to correct myself that I only rem I had my pedicure a year ago before attending my gf's wedding, and she just gave birth recently. Great, using other people's preganancy-birth data as my milestones in life. Why does it sound a little pathetic here?

Anycase, I was swiftly led to the changing room and before long, to the resting lounge (with all my food goodies). After chomping down the sinfully good brownies, I decided to check out the spa facitilties.

The spa area is where the changing room is. It comes with a wide "bubbling" hydro jet warm jaccuzzi area with clear window facing out. Not too bad but not exactly spectacular. There wasnt a soul there when I was there at 5pm, so I had the whole place to myself. I tried out the steam room and the steam was Hot but positively effective for my hair "conditioning". Not a bad way to spend half hour idling away.





Next was the nail lounge area. After selecting my fav sizzling hot metallic midnite blue shade, I settle down comfortably in my "seat", which consists of a platform with cushions thrown in. The lounge prob could only do 2 pedicure and 2 manicure concurrently, so it's not exactly big. However, what made my pedicure hours bearable is that I had FULL control of the TV remote, allowing me to channel surf while I try to ignore having to sit still for full 1.5hr. Usually I hate pedicure because I get bored so easily just sitting there doing nothing much. So having a TV to myself was a great way to pass time and distract the restless souls like me.

Natalie my therapist was attentive and gentle. I had the "foot patrol" service which is to scrub and buff my feet to perfection, leaving them soft. Apart from painting the colour beautifully (which is a feat for dark colour to get it uniform), my shin was bright and shiny after the service. My feet after the paraffin wax soak/ socked in also positively felt baby soft. Though some of my deep crack lines over the years are def still visible.

As I was leaving, I learn that BLISS SPA has won the Asiaspa award 2009 today. I have got to try the spa the next time and check it out for myself if it is truly worthy of the accolades. I have a high standard for hotel spa. The only one that had truly impressed me to date was the recent massage spa at St Regis Singapore (and I am hard press to impress for massage). Those hotel spa in HK to date are all grossly overpriced, with more attention paid to the ambience than the actual therapist skills.