Saturday, June 28, 2014

28 Jun: Happy Pink Dot Day Singapore!

Today is Pink Dot day, in support of the gay people in Singapore.

I'm glad we have Pink Dot. Not because it's just horray that gay people can come out of the closet but rather, this event gives hope and comfort for parents of gay people, to witness that there are people out there who will not ostracize against their children in our "selective" conservative Singapore society.

Some particular religious people fanatics have been trying to shove their views down our throats lately with their loud outcry that this Pink day event is pure abomination, a destruction to family values and family units, an erosion of family values because they think that gay people are out to destroy the world and will stop reproduction in their tracks and cause millions of family units to fall apart. They made it sound like being gay is "contagious", a fad, a "lifestyle" that will make it appealing for straight people to convert to "gayism". I dont know if I should weep for their ignorance

I remember when i was growing up in the 70s, 80s, many adults of all races used to "advise" me to stay away from Albino people. I was warned told that Albino people are "cursed", "evil", "freaks", "something wrong", "parents did evil things so it is their punishment/ retribution" or it might be "contagious". Down syndrome kids I remembered were targeted too with such hurtful ignorance. I remember when I was volunteering at Down syndrome school in the 90s, there were still parents who would whip their toddler or child out of the pool (with horrified expression) faster than u can blink when our Down Sydnrome charges were happily going into the pool.

Fast forward 30 years on, Albino people are no longer shunned or ostracised or deemed "abnormal" creature. Parents of Down Sydnrome kids no longer have to weep or despair behind close doors because they no longer have to fear people calling their children devil spawn. The veil has lifted and I thank Science for clearing the "mystery" and proving that it all boils down to Genetic coding and has nothing to do with what the parents did or did not do right. It is something that Mother nature decided should happen.

I once asked my husband, "Why dont Science just prove once and for all that being gay is to do with genetics and nothing to do with lifestyle choices? That will SHUT ALOT OF RELIGIOUS people up and give gay people a place in society and recognition they deserve." We talked alot about it, as to why there isnt funding for something so fundamental about human make up. We talked about ethics, if parents would end up wanting to genetically modify their kids if they discover their kids are gay? We talked about religious groups' reaction on the studies since that will over throw their centuries claim that being gay was wrong. We talked alot, but ultimately, we realised no one will fund this sensitive & non monetary project. So to me, if religious groups are so HELL BENT on telling me that being gay is wrong and it's not genetics, then PROVE it to me via scientific research. Otherwise, I will stick to my belief that being gay is genetics, not lifestyle. I am more inclined to believe that industrialization and chemical toxins polluting our food chain has a bigger role in altering our genetic makeup.

I have several friends who are gay.
One of them comes from a family of 6 kids, 4 sons and 2 daughters. The father is homophobic and a typical Testerone driven chap. They grew up on a farm and there was no internet in those days when growing up and they are of Christian upbringing. There was absolutely NO INFLUENCE of gay people and yet, out of the 4 boys, 2 are gays and till this day they do not dare to tell their parents outright they are gay, out of respect for their parents feelings. (Though the father cannot be so blind when their sons only bring back one particular male friend back respectively every Home visits for many years). How can being gay be a lifestyle choice when nothing in their growing years support this claim? Gay was not a topic to be spoken of in those 60s and nothing would have planted that idea in their head that "being gay was something they should explore". Nothing. To further fuel my own curiosity, I asked them. "At what age did u actually feel an attraction for male or that u kind of realise you were gay?"

They told me they didnt know they were gay. There was no labels then when they are growing up but they knew they had never felt anything for girls but they started having crushes on boys when they were as young as 10yo. To those who insist that being gay is a choice, I simply ask, why would a 10 year old kid (esp one who goes to church) decide to wake up one day "deciding" that they want to be attracted to same sex, going against everything they were taught, and face lifelong bullying and ostracism? Who in the right mind would choose such a difficult journey to love if they have a choice?

As for religious shoutouts claiming being gay is wrong, I would say to you "My brother/ Sister, you are being wrong. Your eyes are being blinded by the devil to create discord amongst men and you have forgotten the simple teaching of Love all, Judge not. Live and let live."

The word that has been thrown around "Lifestyle", I don't quite get your definition of the word used.
People who persists on buying branded goods is chasing a "status" lifestyle. People who only eats organic food is after a "healthy" lifestyle. Lifestyle is something that one goes after to achieve a purpose. So in those outcry of "gay lifestyle", what exactly is it? A lifestyle of being persecuted by non accepting mainstream? A lifestyle of being called faggots when your manhood feels threatened? A lifestyle of suffering from possible cutting of ties by your own family members? Again I ask, what benefits does this "lifestyle" does this entails in the eyes of the protestors? Gay people comes from all quarters, all walks of life. Being gay is not exclusively to the "rich and famous" and so it cannot be a "lifestyle". If someone is poor and yet still gay, how do u explain that hard choices if it's not mother nature's work?

Gay people or recognizing their right to love the same sex does not destroy family units, nor will it erode the family values. Family units are destroyed by many things such as ADULTERY, WOMANISING, ALCOHOLISM, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, GAMBLING, MIS-COMMUNICATION, GREED, DISTRUST, DISRESPECT, CONFLICTS with in laws etc but never by gay people. Gay people couldnt crave for more stable family, more than you realise.

If you want to throw the argument that gay men "sleeps" around, then I will tell you "Straight man" (or straight rapists) sleeps around too and spread HPV, HIV, STD to many woman (or even married partner and their babies) too" Some straight men are equally guilty offenders of irresponsible sleeping around. Some straight men also double timed their partners. Some straight men also enjoy engaging anal sex with straight women. So it's misguided that only gay people are wanton or sole source of spreading sexual diseases. In any case, unless you are gay, what gay people might or might not have isnt going to infect you will it since u wont be allowing anyone to poo jab you right?

As for family values which religious people proclaim that gay people will erode, what family values may that be? U mean to propagate? Well, in that case, should all single people, consciously choosing to be childless couples and priests and nuns be stoned to death as well since they are not abiding by God's words either? Incidentally, gay people do not necessarily stop procreation, infact, gay people DO DESIRE to recreate and many has done so via surrogate mothers or donor sperms. Think Matt Boomer the actor with his own brood. So no, gay people will not cause the extinction of man kind. If you say "gay parents" will raise gay kids, then should all parents of convicts or criminals themselves be banned from ever having kids because they wll be bound to raise a child who is after a criminal lifestyle? There are no proof either that gay parents raise gay kids nor single parents can only raise kids who will not believe in marriage, but on the contrary, many well educated straight kids have been raised by loving gay parents. However, the law prevents more gay couples from proving the fact that they can be equally good parents as straight parents.

So No, I disagree that family values will be eroded. Gay uncles, and aunties are equally loving to their niece and nephews. They too teach them to be upright person, respect elders, be useful to societies and be compassionate. So how is gay relatives an erosion to family values?

Some online anti-gay people say "oh allowing them to love same sex is ok, then we might as well condone pedophiles since it's their freedom to love" I shake my head at such desperate grasp of the straw, arguing with no logical sense. Pedophiles are a crime not just because it's an adult molesting a child, it's a crime because they are knowingly inflicting trauma and doing something against the unknowing child wishes. It's NON CONSENSUAL because the child has no knowledge of the thing being done to him or her. It inflicts horror, anguish and possible lifelong suffering from a pedophile act and it's hurting the kid. That will explain why a 40yo man touches a 10yo child is wrong but a 50yo man having sex with 20 yo woman is not despite the the same age gap.

 How can Gay people be drawn in comparison with pedophiles boogles me, when gay people do NOT inflict pain on children nor anyone else? It's a private love affair. They dont go around shoving their dick at you and if they do, that's call Rape and that's jailtime. Speaking of pedophiles, Catholic Churches have long been exposed to harbour plenty of Priest Pedophiles and yet nothing was ever done to them. So should churches be shut down then since it's all so wrong and we can never be sure of whom the church is harboring as a potential pedophile?

I will be honest and say I grew up believing gay is wrong, and was told "dont share food with gay people because they will spread Aids to you." Yes, my parents are rather old school and conservative. They probably might have hung their head in shame for rest of their lives if I had been gay. However, I remember on a trip to Taiwan when I was 10 or 11 year old on a tour group, there was this 2 guys who were always seated at the back of the coach keeping to themselves. Yet, I rem too they were very nice to me, taking time to talk to me and entertain me on the bus as we travel from one sight to another, watching out for me in crowded places. My mum wasnt too pleased and reprimanded  me  frequently thruout the trip for "talking to the male companions". For many days, I had the best time of my life. I had "2 big brothers" to play with me since my own brothers were grounded in Singapore for NS and school.

Looking back, I realised now that the 2 big brothers were actually a gay couple, and it explains why all the uncles and aunties kept their distance. As fact stands, bright as day, I didnt die from Aids sharing their food during meal time or taking their snacks. Neither did my exposure to these gay people at my young age erode my way of family thinking nor destroy my family (though it was my dad's affair with another Malaysian woman that did the irreversible damages). And no, neither did I turn gay just because I saw them kissing privately. I totally have NO IMPULSE nor Desire to try to kiss another gal either simply because my genetic makeup is different. Even with gays friends, nothing will compel me to sleep sexually with another woman. Even going to a convent school with all talks of "lesbian couples", and all the hand holding etc, I know without a doubt I am only attracted to guys no matter how close I am to my gfs. Nothing will possess me to be "influenced" to become gay just because I am surrounded by all these "lesbian" talk back in school. So trust me when I say, gay people cannot convert you nor change who you are fundamentally. It's just like the Thai boys who want to be woman, you cannot help wanting to be who you are.

Discrimination against gay people may never end unless Science can prove them wrong. 

I hope that day comes soon

I dont expect many to come round to understand that being gay is not a lifestyle. I dont seek their belief but I seek their tolerance to not lash out or actively cry out against gay people. Gay people are everywhere.

Australia celebrates gayism openly with Mardi Gras every year and yet, their family units remain strong and people are still popping children left right and center. New Zealand has changed their legislation towards gay people and you do not see their country falling apart with a surge in divorces or children turning gay.

At the end of the day, it's your choice whether you want to accept gay people. 

However, think about it. You might even be friends with one, eating food prepared by a gay person, watching entertainment brought to you by gay people, wearing clothes designed and made by gay people and you wont even realise it and you prob in no way have suffered. So dont judge for the sake of judging unless you have concrete proof that harm has been done to you or mankind as a whole.

As for my gay friends, I celebrate your right to love and be loved.

Happy Pink Dot Day!

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