Working with Idiots can kill you!!!

Karen's so cute. She saw my blog and sent me this to comfort me. Guess there are really a lot of idiots out there!!! Thanks karen!

Arrrrrggghhhh! Monday!!!

Today is the most impossible hectic day.

First, the new girl came in without my boss confirming she is in today. So that threw my schedule off a bit as i had to run outdoors abit. Told my boss to take the girl out for lunch since i am booked.

Then Miss Narcisstic (totally useless) and forgot to file my tax for last year. She is so stupid that she sealed the envelope telling me everything is inside. I trusted my instinct that moronic & spastic people like her cannot be trusted. So I ripped open the envelope on my way to revenue and confirmed my fears. So i rang her up at 12pm and demanded her to finished it by 12.15pm since she SCREW up and the lunch time for 12.30pm for the govt people. All she could say was "She forgot" in a mousy voice and still expected me to wait till 2.30pm. I told her to wakeup her idea because i have a busy day and i am not going waste my time sitting around waiting for her to buff her arse to get moving.

When i hung up, the tax officer laughed and asked me"She must be very inexperienced finance accountant that's why she screw up." I told him that "That is the bloody REGIONAL finance controller, with "experience". Probably spent all her time msning and busy scr*wing men on the side and fighting on the phone than use her brain.

Anycase, luckily the new girl is pretty fast learner and didnt give me grieve. So i could speed up the training to compensate for the loss of time due to useless Miss Narcissitic Disorder woman.

In between, my big boss came and ramaged through the pile and i fed him with more chocs. He looked "forlonly" at the pretty empty food basket. The HK country manager walked past as well and complain that my snacks corner is feedin her too well and making her fat. Asked me if i could buy something "less evil and tempting". Everyone laughed.

Hell's Kitchen

I simply love the show Hell's Kitchen.

Gordon is a shocker in the TV. Much that most people would assume that its just a show, and that he's a meanie on TV, I have a hunch that he is probably just as "demanding" in person (when in the kitchen).

I have been to his best restaurants, and restaurants of his proteges in London. They are excellent meals no doubt. From what we hear causual remarks from the kitchens in one of the kitchen tour, Gordon is really a tough mentor who expects nothing but the best from you. I guess that's why I was willing to sit down and be glued to this somewhat "reality" series, knowing that there is a degree of "realness" in there.

I guess what i liked about the series is the focus on the ordeal, the learning experiences and the fumbling of the poor chefs to be. Its shows you the multiple personalities, test of endurance of the individuals who apsires to be chef, and the ugly side of when "enough is enough!" by the contestants.

I cringed everything when there is some cracker (diners) walking up to his kitchen hot plate and asked for reason on their meal delays. Come on, you didnt know that Hell Kitchen is for "apprentices?". So these unknowing beings were unceremoniously talked down by Gordon, and only to be greeted by "hostility" and at times verbal abuse...

Then again, G.R is certainly not one with the best temper, but he is a real chef, not a celebrity chef, so i suppose he can get away with not having to be effable. His personality not only dominates the kitchen, but i might add as well as to his "TV presence".

It is strangely absorbing to see him in action, demanding nothing but the best. I love this series!! Too bad HK is only showing season 1 when he's already on to 3 in states!

Codependent Relationships Dynamics

"As long as we believe that someone else has the power to make us happy then we are setting ourselves up to be victims" ~ Codependence: by Robert Burney

******************

" This is the second in a series of articles by codependency therapist, Spiritual teacher Robert Burney about the ways in which romantic relationships in our society are set up to be dysfunctional. It does not matter how much two people love each other if they are reacting to their childhood programming in their interaction.

******************

Dysfunctional Definition of Love

One of the biggest problems with relationships in this society is that the context we approach them from is too small. We were taught that getting the relationship is the goal.

It starts in early childhood with Fairy Tales where the Prince and the Princess live happily-ever-after. It continues in movies and books where "boy meets girl" "boy loses girl" "boy gets girl back" - the music swells and the happy couple ride off into the sunset. The songs that say "I can't smile without you" "I can't live without you" "You are my everything" describe the type of love we learned about growing up - toxic love - an addiction with the other person as our drug of choice, as our Higher Power.

Any time we set another human being up to be our Higher Power we are going to experience failure in whatever we are trying to accomplish. We will end up feeling victimized by the other person or by our self - and even when we feel victimized by the other person we blame our self for the choices we made. We are set up to fail to get our needs met in Romantic Relationships because of the belief system we were taught in childhood and the messages we got from our society growing up.

There is no goal to reach that will bring us to happily-ever after. We are not incomplete until we find out soul mate. We are not halves that cannot be whole without a relationship.

True Love is not a painful obsession. It is not taking a hostage or being a hostage. It is not all-consuming, isolating, or constricting. Believing we can't be whole or happy without a relationship is unhealthy and leads us to accept deprivation and abuse, and to engage in manipulation, dishonesty, and power struggles. The type of love we learned about growing up is an addiction, a form of toxic love.

Here is a short list of the characteristics of Love vs. toxic love

(compiled with the help of the work of Melody Beattie & Terence Gorski.)

1. Love - Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow.
Toxic love - Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love (may really be fear, insecurity, loneliness)

2. Love - Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships.
Toxic love - Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests.

3. Love - Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth.
Toxic love - Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other changing.

4. Love - Appropriate Trust (i.e. trusting partner to behave according to fundamental nature.)
Toxic love - Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition; protects "supply."

5. Love - Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together.
Toxic love - Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation.

6. Love - Embracing of each other's individuality.
Toxic love - Trying to change other to own image.

7. Love - Relationship deals with all aspects of reality.
Toxic love - Relationship is based on delusion and avoidance of the unpleasant.

8. Love - Self-care by both partners; emotional state not dependent on other's mood.
Toxic love - Expectation that one partner will fix and rescue the other.

9. Love - Loving detachment (healthy concern about partner, while letting go.)
Toxic love - Fusion (being obsessed with each other's problems and feelings.)

10. Love - Ability to enjoy being alone.
Toxic love - Unable to endure separation; clinging.

11. Love - Cycle of comfort and contentment.
Toxic love - Cycle of pain and despair.

Love is not supposed to be painful. There is pain involved in any relationship but if it is painful most of the time then something is not working.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship - it is natural and healthy. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship that will last forever - expecting it to last forever is what is dysfunctional. Expectations set us up to be a victim - and cause to abandon ourselves in search of our goal.

If we can start seeing relationships not as the goal but as opportunities for growth then we can start having more functional relationships. A relationship that ends is not a failure or a punishment - it is a lesson.

As long as our definition of a successful relationship is one that lasts forever - we are set up to fail. As long as we believe that we have to have the other in our life to be happy, we are really just an addict trying to protect our supply - using another person as our drug of choice. That is not True Love - nor is it Loving. "

~ Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is Copyright 1995 - all else is copyright 1999 & 2000 by Robert Burney PO Box 977 Cambria, CA 93428. This series of articles was originally published online on the Inner Child/Codependency Recovery page that I edit for Suite101.com Directory - although bits and pieces of the articles have been part of articles and web pages published previously.

About nothing...

Slept in today.

Woke up about 1pm and vegetate infront of the tv for 5 hours. Dom is lucky, HK weather is gorgeous today after a horrid week of thunderstorm and rains. Hope he is enjoying himself somewhere on this island and smelling the same polluted air as me. Haaa haa haaa!!

Waiting for the chicken to defrost so that i can start cooking soup for dinner. I am resistant to using microwave. I am just not a fan of something that will speed up my food and in the process, killing off all nutrients in the food.

Guess it will be another round of late dinner. Wanted to bake a cake today but forgot. Guess the whole late week has taken weaken my resolve to do something different.

My nephews has grown up to be such cuuuuuuute boys now. Everytime when i see them, I feeel like giving them a big hugs and smother them with kisses...

Sat thoughts

Ah Dom: "Yes you are right. Some ppl are just slow. Anyway, I am slow too sometimes :(. I wanted to laugh on copywriting and copywrite..."

I laughed when i read ah dom's comment to my earlier post.

Laughed because seeing it from his angle at the part of the copyright vs copywriting, it is funny now that the moment is over. Actually I am glad she asked in a way because it brings down my expectation level. I will feel less irritated if she doesnt deliver the results later.

However it certainly didnt feel so yesterday when i was busy. I pray my emotions could start with a clean slate on Monday and not see her differently.. . When your perception of a person is tainted, it is best to minimise contact to prevent it from worsening.

Slow... she is sooo slow...

Someone at work really really annoy me today.

It took every ounce of my energy not to raise my voice.

Arrrrrggghhh

Weather Talk

"How's the weather in HK?" Dom asked me earlier this eve.
I told him it was crap.

It has been thunderstorms and rains. Places are flooded, trees snapped, and its just plain crazy. Its not even the typhoon yet and its already horrendous. He told me that Shenzhen is just as bad. All the place he liked (to have his meals) are all flooded.

"Mother Nature is angry" he said.
"Her sons are naughty that's why." I replied.
"They make an utter mess and they refuse to clean up. They simply push the blame and the responsibilty to clean up to one another." I shared my thoughts with him. He agreed.

"Many scientists say greenhouse gases are responsible for a warming Earth and, if not reduced, could lead to massive storms, floods, heat waves, droughts and a rise in sea levels. US President George W. Bush is expected to outline some adjustments to national climate-change policy in his State of the Union speech next week, but retain his opposition to mandatory limits on greenhouse gas emissions. " ~quoted from PlanetArk

" As Prime Minister Tony Blair of Britain, a proponent of emissions targets, said in a statement on Nov. 1: "The blunt truth about the politics of climate change is that no country will want to sacrifice its economy in order to meet this challenge....

And the United States - by far the world's largest producer of greenhouse gases - continues to say that emissions targets or requirements would stunt economic growth in both rich and poor nations." ~quoted frm truthout


Detail reads:
1. Massachusetts to Join Northeast US Greenhouse Pact
2. On Climate Change, a Change of Thinking

Lousy HK woman driver - Part 2 (@7pm)

Picture is self explanatory.

I almost had the urge to ask her if she needs me to park her damn car for her. Her young son was bobbing up and down in his back seat wondering why his mum was taking so long.

"Don't buy such a big and huge car just for "flauting your wealth" if you cannot drive and park. "

i am only thankful that her designated lot is NOT next to mine. her rear mirror was almost touching the other car when i walked past her.

Note: * I only drew 5 pink arrows because that's the only way i wont clutter my diagram. In reality, after 3 mins (>10 attempts (according to my cd song), she still wasnt parked. And I only started counting when i stop. I didnt count the attempts before i was in the lot and while i was parking. *Sigh*

Lousy HK (woman) driver - Part 1 (@9.15am)

This is what i think after being on the road for one year.

Minmally the cab driver this morning agrees with me on this "equation". The more expensive, bigger cars (including SDV) they drive, the WORSE they are!!! *groan*





"if you havent figure out what is wrong with this picture...here's a hint.

The lane of blue cars next to us are stationary and not moving as up ahead is a one way lane (due to pavement reno) and cars were coming out.

****************************
*pause*
***********************

You still DONT get it as to what is wrong...?

**************************
*Answer*
***********************
The woman could have turn right as the purple car could not have turn into the smaller lane as the blue car was not moving.

Instead of being decisive, the stupid woman hog the lane for abt 2 min, until the cars next to us started moving. She wanted to move THEN, but its too late. So we had to wait for another 3 mins for the purple cars to move (their right of way). And i was **stuck behind a series of slow trucks and doubledeck buses.

I muttered" bloody idiot" and sensing my support, my cab driver joined in and lamented the "unsurpassable" lousy skills of our dear mercs driver.

**NOTE: HK roads are SINGLE LANES. *arrrrhhhhh!!!*

Following

The first time i heard this song, the haunting melody captured me.

It isnt the sort of song that you want to hear day to day,

but its a mood song, the reflective sort, the amicable parting sort...

Arnold and his usual verbal "riots"

@9.50am. Arnold saw my injured ankle.

"What happened?" He asked
"Fractured my ankle." I revealed.
"From falling off the bed?!" he hooted in his usual cheeky french laugh.
"From the washing machine actually. Its higher." I retorted in the mood of banter.
"OOOooooooooooooooo" Arnold exclaimed in false pretence.

We laughed heartily.
The actual truth & sequence of events are not of importance to Arnold.

@2.30pm. I saw Arnold and called out to him

"You have finished your fragrance training right? Could i have the meeting room coz i have a vendor meeting at three." I asked him.

"Ooooo.. but that is my little mobile office. Do u have another space for me?" Arnold winked and ask in that cute play acting voice of his.

"Yup, I have reserved the smaller meeting room. you can have that as your "office". I need the big room with projector" . Arnold went "oooooo.."

After checking out the small meeting room.
"Ok! Because i love you. You shall have my big room! But only because i love you." he said unabashingly, not bating an eyelid.

"Ooooohhh yes Arnold, I love u too!! Thank you." I grinned.

"Yes! Only because i love you. I dont do it for everyone." He reminded me jokingly.

"I know. Yooooooooou are the sweetest.".
I couldnt keep a straight face, not with Arnold making the puckered lips. Everyone around us laughed.

Only gay man can pull this off and still be loveable.
Being French adds to his credit too. Ha!

My Visual DNA, What's Yours?

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Reconstruction

This site is being rework! (it will take ages i gurantee u)

Hooo Hooo Hooo

Mind Drowning

My mind cannot stay still. If there isnt work to keep it busy, it wanders. It wanders alot. Up and down, far and wide, running amok.

The week off from work gave my mind so much time and freedom to wander. Is it a good thing to have so much time to reflect so much? I dunno, but it is moments like these that you ponder and constantly question yourself. You think about the mistakes, the missed chances, you simply think about your life past, present and future.

I thought about the different cross junctions in my life, the different decisions made, the dilemas, the self doubts, the questions, the laughters, the tears, the regrets. I remember the chapters opened, the chapters closed, the chapters uunended. I thought alot today. I thought about all the people I have met, the people I have left behind, the people I hate, the people I cry about, the people I miss, the people I loved, the people to thank for bringing love and joy in my life at different stages of my life.

Sometimes you have so much memories that some just quietly fade into the background and stayed buried until something jolt it back to surface. Kind of like a jolted sting ray buried under the sand surfacing from beneath the sand. It happens so fast that you simply don't see it coming.

yesterday I was eating a small piece of cake and I suddenly remembered a very sweet gesture once on Xmas. It brought a wistful smile to my face and very quickly, this is where flashbacks takes over.

Armed with a book and ipod. I lay in the baking sun (resting my recovering ankle), with the breeze blowing, while I surrender myself completely to my memories drowning me for the rest of the day.