Friday, June 1, 2007

Mind Drowning

My mind cannot stay still. If there isnt work to keep it busy, it wanders. It wanders alot. Up and down, far and wide, running amok.

The week off from work gave my mind so much time and freedom to wander. Is it a good thing to have so much time to reflect so much? I dunno, but it is moments like these that you ponder and constantly question yourself. You think about the mistakes, the missed chances, you simply think about your life past, present and future.

I thought about the different cross junctions in my life, the different decisions made, the dilemas, the self doubts, the questions, the laughters, the tears, the regrets. I remember the chapters opened, the chapters closed, the chapters uunended. I thought alot today. I thought about all the people I have met, the people I have left behind, the people I hate, the people I cry about, the people I miss, the people I loved, the people to thank for bringing love and joy in my life at different stages of my life.

Sometimes you have so much memories that some just quietly fade into the background and stayed buried until something jolt it back to surface. Kind of like a jolted sting ray buried under the sand surfacing from beneath the sand. It happens so fast that you simply don't see it coming.

yesterday I was eating a small piece of cake and I suddenly remembered a very sweet gesture once on Xmas. It brought a wistful smile to my face and very quickly, this is where flashbacks takes over.

Armed with a book and ipod. I lay in the baking sun (resting my recovering ankle), with the breeze blowing, while I surrender myself completely to my memories drowning me for the rest of the day.

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