Forgetting things is a norm??

I know my maid always forgets things, so I tried to help her by guiding her to make a list. Because she is so disorganised, I told her to write down what she intends to cook for each meal, plan and write down the ingredients ahead so that when she goes marketing, she is well prepared.

Yet even with such planning, EVERY alternate marketing days, she will come back after 3 hours and then tell me "oh I forgot xxx" So she will need to go out another 2 hours to rectify her mistakes. When it happens the first few times, I was ok and brush it off as accidents. However it keep happening every week and I'm getting annoyed. How do u forget things??? U pay and take the things n go. Once in a while I get it, but every other day? 

What annoys me too was how she NEVER tells us what she fail to buy, either coz not enough cash or whatever other reason. We don't have an issue with her missing out buying stuff due to lack of cash but we have told her before to inform us so that when we are out we can buy it on our way bank. However she just persistently keep quiet and I have no idea why. She will only tell us she didn't buy this and that on the night before and so she has an excuse to go out on a non scheduled marketing day. Then she will rush through the rest of the day cling cling clank clank while I'm trying to put baby to sleep n disrupt my day. 

Another thing is that she will change what to cook on her whim n fancy rather than what was planned ahead. So I would be expecting one dish but end up eating salmon again twice in a week. So instead of using the money I gave her to buy beef, she decided she wants to buy salmon instead. She just cook watever is easy for her and that again grates on my nerves. When u try to ask her why, she will always avoid the question and fob off with "u want me to cook something else?" I get frustrated coz she will not look at you n will never answer the question with a direct answer. 

I wish there is a database with maids profile and REAL feedback or testimonies against their work resumes. Of course this will never happen coz administratively impossible. Though I find it grossly unfair that employers have to bank on luck to hire an unknown maid, hoping she can do the job since there is no references on the past. Some employers will just lie since the maid is still with them in their last month. U do not know if the maid u hired has issues with former employer  or work attitude and yet this person will be working or u repeating her errors and staying in your place facing each other day in day out where employers do not have legal options to pay for live out options. 

There are many good maids n there are nasty ones. I am still undecided where ours stand. To be fair she is not all that bad compared to some others that steals, borrow from agencies etc but she has her moments. 

Changing maids seem like "easy" way out but it will be another 3-6 months learning from scratch and I don't have so much time n energy to waste on retraining a maid. By that time, I would not need a maid since my baby will be older. I would rather just hang in there and pray for miracle she will stop being so forgetful. Now she just does her things, I do mine and we stay out of each other's way. Good thing my flat is big enough where I can still have my personal space. 

I wish my previous help of 6 years didn't have to go back to Philippine. She was really good and having her was a joy and we can chit chat while she works and I never have to worry about a thing. Good help are sooo hard to come by. 

Irritating maid again

Everyday with my maid is frustrating. 

I told her to set up bank account with HSBC so that I can pay her salary. She waited two weeks but her ATM card didn't come. So she asked to go bank again. 

I told her to go on Tuesday morn first thing they open 9am n to buy some fruits n pack back food, don't have to rush back to cook. 

She came back 12.30am. And go about doing her stuff. I asked her, where's the mango since I didn't see it on the living room fruit plate. She gave me her fucking stupid blur look again. She ramage through the fridge and went "oh I forgot to take"

WTF. 

I couldn't even understand why she could be so shit useless. Cannot rem things all the time. She gave me that stupid moron then how face. I had to tell her "then go back n get it" so she wasted another 2 hours. Useless. 

She came back and I asked her how can she have forgotten? She said she's rushing a lot to do. I asked her but u are not even cooking lunch. Wats the rush? Now u forgot n waste another 2 hours. Is that better? She kept quiet. 

Everyday I must micro manage her. She won't give u details n she really borders on stupid. When we were changing machine and water was on the floor, the guy asked which cloth to use n she just say that that. I asked her which one, she just say that. I got irritated n have to ask her"can u just describe which one? We don't know wat is that? The red the White or the blue? " she still mumble heaven knows wat I just got so fed up that I grab tissue box instead. So stupid cannot even describe colours. 

Her brain honestly is shitter than a baby. She's a work horse. She just work without thinking but super disorganised n inefficient. 

I cannot endure stupid people n I really cannot stand her. Everyday she just annoys me with something. Today she annoys me again but I'm too tired to write more.

My mum thinks she's cunning n liar. No she is just plain stupid n forgetful and cannot accept people critiising her. 

I give her few more months. I really think of she pissed me off again I will just terminate her. Her cooking is mediocre and she refuses to follow cook book instruction n do her own thing whichever is quick n easy.

Maid birthday.

H4th sept. It's my helper birthday and since I rem she said she don't like cakes coz its sweet (during my mum birthday we offered her a slice of cake) , so I decided to just get a cupcake that isn't as sweet and she can just sweep the cream topping away.  Don't know if she liked the Sift cupcake since she didn't say anything but oh well, at least she won't feel like she's all away from home and no one cared. We gave her Hk$200 red packet just for her to get something she likes for herself. 

Good helpers are so hard to find n mine is annoying me

I don't know why some people like having a maid. If u asked me, I don't. I find them a total hassle and half the time they ruin my mood. Of course not all helpers are bad, but most are nothing but a bunch of headaches. 

We engaged a helper after we had a baby and her job only involves 2 things. Clean the house and manage the meals, which involved buying groceries and cooking. Everything that surrounds baby from washing milk bottles, laundry, caring for the bub will solely belong under my charge and she does not get involved. So it's already such a busy routine caring for the little one yet I still have to manage my maid in addition to my hubby is ridiculous. 

We were upset with her last sat. We spoke to her on Friday telling her what we have planned for sat meals. We told her we have bought beef and mushrooms and she can do enoki mushrooms rolls. I specifically asked her wat we have in freezer n she said fish. So I told her ok cook fish for dinner. My hub asked her to buy Japanese cabbage, broccoli on sat morn marketing so that we can use it on Sunday. We continued to add that on sat morn, please buy groceries for mon and tues as well. Then she can go marketing again on wed morn. So presumably she wrote down wat we instructed her.

Come sat night after an exhausting day and sleep deprived due to friday head accident of baby and monitoring him through the night, I was looking forward to a good dinner. Breastfeeding always makes me hungry.

I went to get my dinner and shockingly, the maid only cook a plate of green vegetables and another bowl of brinjal with minced meat. I was really annoyed because this is NOT the first time we told her I need good portions of meat in every meal. She just blatantly ignore or her useless head keep forgetting which we think is the latter. 

I asked her (note asked not shout) why didn't she cook the fish? She gave that stupid blur expression and asked "oh not enough?" Then she went to freezer and wang to take out prawns n cook her prawn egg (again). I stopped her and said "stop. Too late to cook anything now it's 8pm and we will be wasting food coz there's no way I can finish 3 big dishes".

I was really annoyed during dinner and both my Hub n I couldn't understand why she would often not do things as told? This isn't the first time she just swap wat she is suppose to cook to what she feel like cooking. It's very annoying. I'm more annoyed because I already go shopping to get the beef and other groceries for her and yet she cannot cook one simple fish dish as told. 

My hub asked if he needs to cook chicken for me I said don't bother. He asked wat are we doing for Sunday lunch and dinner and we thought about the chicken we bought on Friday. 

My hub went to the kitchen and checked and I heard him asking my maid where are the vege he told her to buy. Then a min later I heard my hubby asked her "why didn't you tell us these things? When we ask you to buy something you buy it. You don't have enough money, you come back and let us know and tell us. We can always give you extra money. You don't just keep quiet and don't tell us that you didn't buy a single thing I specifically ask you to buy. How would we know that you didn't get it? We don't check on you. We leave it to you to run the household right? So you need to let us know. You don't keep quiet."

The maid replied with her "no big deal" reply "I can go buy in the morn."

My hub "but that's not the point. The point is if I didn't check now, I didn't even know I don't have the food I need to cook. You will be off tomorrow and wat happens when I need to cook and I don't have anything because you didn't buy them and I thought you did?"

The maid replied "I didn't think you need it"

That really pissed me off and I told her off  sternly. "You do not think for us. You do not decide what we want to cook or do with the food we ask you to buy. Our plans are always changing and so we like to have those food prepared in advance. Just like I still don't understand why didn't you cook the fish we told you to do  so on Friday. Friday was not even a very busy day for you" ( because friday baby n I nap for 2 hours and honestly my house isn't that messy since the only rooms we used these days are the bedrooms and we were in it) 

I was already annoyed with her on Friday when she didn't even bother to do the laundry when we went out and when I asked her, she said she forgot. Forgetting to do laundry after 3 months on the job? Is that acceptable? She is soo freaking disorganised. She do not know how to manage her time to be efficient. She just know how to work like a brainless horse but things don't click for her. Just like the other day I told her to change master room bedsheets and clean the room first because my hub is coming home and I know he needs his nap. If she don't change it, it will be nighttime again. So she changed the bedsheets and then I didn't see her clean the room.

I went to kitchen to see her sorting out laundry. I had to tell her "don't do the laundry now. Go clean the room first coz you can always do the laundry after you finish the room." In my head I was thinking why do you not understand which task should be prioritise first?

So while she clean the room, I started the laundry washing just to save her time. Yet the next day when she has all the time in the world, she didn't do any washing. Does this make sense to you? I asked her and that when she said she forgot to check the laundry basket. 

Anycase back to sat. So you could see her face was black and moody shit again after we expressed our unhappiness with her lack of communication n disorganisation. She sullenly looked away as usual. These maid always think they are so wronged or victims but they don't reflect on their repeated mistakes. They think it's ok to slip up, and pretend nothing Happened. 

So rest of the night she has that black face and she went back to her room at 10pm as usual. Which is good coz I don't have to see her black face which really annoys me. I am paying you and u give me the feeling that we can never point out your mistakes and I meat repeated mistakes? 

So Sunday she went on her off which makes me happy. She came back when I was putting baby to sleep so I didn't see her the whole sun. Good. 

Today Monday, she saw me in the morn but still give me the black face n didn't bother to greet me. I couldn't be bothered to greet her either. I don't need to be politely greet u if you want to persist in your childish tantrums. Honestly I really feel like giving her the boot but my hub enjoy the fact that someone wash up after him, now that I'm busy with baby he thinks we need extra help though he said he will not retain her if she chooses to quit. 

So comes Monday n I'm pissed off in my own home because of a disorganised forgetful maid with a black face. Great. 

Thank god I don't need her to look after my child which I will never entrust her to do ever. I simply don't trust her competency and her memory. It's too risky. Who knows what she will forget. If she can't even do 2 meals properly (I have to cook my own breakfast to spare me more headache from her), who can entrust a child with her? Then again it was never my plan to involve a maid in my cha raising. She will always be a spectator and not involved. 

I know it sounds crazy but I look forward to the day I can sack her or she wants to quit. I doubt she will quit since her job resume is already peppered with bad record in singapore n HK, both with terminated contracts. In singapore she claimed her ex boss wanted to punch her so she left. In HK she said she was bullied by the other maid in same household and the boss side the other maid and do she quit after 3 months. Initially one wold sympathise with her but now after 3 months with us, I think there is more than meet the eye. She prob was never up to scratch and pisses people off and just that other employers had less patience and endurance than us. However I told my hub that when my boy gets older and easier to take him out after he starts on solids, I honestly don't care if she leaves. I don't need her really. 

We shall see. 

28 aug: Selfish man

I always Suspected I can't really count on my husband to chip in long term over the baby. He's just too selfish a person and his obsessive need to have "me time" to unwind just grates on my nerves. If he helps, it has to be when he feels like it and not when u ask (too often). He will get irritated and snappish. Excuse me, do I look like I'm So free? When he has chance to sleep he don't and do fucking things like F.B n you tube. He claims he wants n need time to do his chinese but almost everytime I pass his room he is surfing Internet or reading FB. 

That's why I never wanted kid for the longest time. I knew it will mostly fall back on me. He was good for a while in the 3rd month after the CL left but very quickly his selfish nature pops out. The feeding, the cleaning, the taking charge of maid, the grocery planning, the meal planning, the washing of All the bottles pumping equip n storage bottles for every feed, the bathing, the changing nappy, the cleaning of baby like nail clipping, putting baby to Sleep, basically everything from morn to Night. I frankly think not much difference from single mum except I got a maid to cook n clean.

I don't get why I even need to Open my Mouth to get him to clean the bottles when I pump or feeding baby or put baby to sleep. He gives me that irritated look

At time or he just sit on the request for hours n when I remind him he becomes annoyed. Fucker. So now I just clean them myself. He sees that I have finish bathing baby n the water tub is still there, he won't even lift a finger to automatically pour it away. He just walk away and then take his kindle to read n now nap. I had a good mind of leaving the fucking tub there but since I want to shower I might as well throw the water out. But am I resentful, of course I am. 

Just over the weekend I got hit by mastitis n had fever n chills n needed to rest. Sure he "volunteer " to take over looking after baby for night shift but the price? 3 days later he snap at me exclaiming he is very frustrated because he has "no time" to do his own things. Fucker. U think I been idling? I m sick I still have to chase tenant for money and look after household, pump milk, wash bottles help to bath baby etc. I didn't rest much either. So this snappish exchange took place and I just walk out of the room with baby to bath him n the fucker was more than happy that he didn't need to help bath the baby. 

So here I am battling the need to restore my milk supply after it went down by half after I started my antibiotics, while he shamelessly kept to Himself in the study room. 

All this panick sudden drive that he wants to master his chinese. Hello, I told u to

Learn mandarin from day 1 I met you since a decade plus ago. You sat on it for years and do causal private lessons last two years and suddenly u want to master it to have fluent conversation in a month? I don't get it. I seriously don't even want to engage him on the topic n I told him to

Look into schools rather than unstructured private lessons. He blame me for not talking to him in mandarin. Well who talk to me in Japanese when I learned it? I have told him he needs to watch chinese drama or video or tv to expose himself but he thinks they are stupid n refuse. I said that's how I learn but he just won't do it n it's my fault? 

Anycase, basically I just go into work function mode pretending my husband does not exist when it comes to the baby. If the baby has to drink formula if I fall sick again so be it. It's his lot in life that he has a selfish father. There's omg so much mum can stretch herself n it's unfortunate that grandma is equally useless to help out. As the saying goes, 求人不如求己. 

I guess this is all those years of project management from work comes into good use. 

Been a month and life is back to norm since mum gone back

Been a month since my mum went back and life is so peaceful. Apart from the occasional cockup by my helper, things are running like clockwork again. I think everyone at home basically slept better without this constant pressure from mum. 

For one. I need not force myself to eat lunch at a fix time having to consider my mum. She doesn't want to eat many things my maid cook (not because its not nice but she just dont like her) and it's so obvious. Initially I felt bad and tried to accommodate her but gradually her attitude wore me down and I let her be. 

Secondly she was playing or addicted to her phone games so much that it really irritate me when she would be so anti Social even during meal time when we try to have conversations

Thirdly  The pressure is off me suffering from my mum attitude towards my maid. No more complaints n nagging everyday. She will say she didn't say or do anything but please we are not blind and deaf to her tone and expression. My maid never complained or say anything bad about my mum but my mum on the other hand went bitching about my maid to our HK relatives and of course my brothers AND relatives back in sg. 

To my brother I expected her to do so coz it's just her. But to my HK relatives on your second time meeting them when they invite you over to their home to welcome u to HK? Come on. You have no EQ or that u must air every single grievances about your life to everyone you meet the first time u meet them. How about taking a chill pill? Can't u tell my relatives don't rely care n just making polite conversation?? The weirdest thing was people invited u to their home to have lunch n you rush thru your rice and walk away from the dining table with no regards that other people are still eating n having conversations. How rude can u be?? My poor relatives were abit caught out and rushed through lunch too so to keep her company. It's moments like this I want to Roll my eyes. Where is your social skills? U r so use to doing things your own way you don't even know how to behave at other people's home? I bet none of your so call frens ever invited u over because half the time u are always complaining about what they did wrong to u. 

Anycase my brother of course will side my mum and thinks the worse of my helper. I don't know if mum sprout any rubbish to him and he got sick of listening. 

I recently posted the fact that my mum told my maid to keep prawn in sugar before freezing. I thought it was funny because I forgot my mum had that habit. It wasn't even an accusing post, just a factual post that I saw my maid dutifully following mum instructions n I asked her wat she was doing. To me, she was just being obedient doing wat mum taught her. However my brother saw it differently. He saw it as my maid pointing finger at my mum and blaming her. So he sent me a text to say to tell me to tell my maid to unlearn everything mum taught her and he don't want to hear anything about wat mum says coming out of her fucking mouth. I was like WTF? 

When did my maid offend you? It has been us putting up with mum eccentric behaviour and u make it sound like my maid has been backstabbing mum? I told him my maid never spoke ill of mum once despite the fact both me n my hubby overheard mum talking loudly n not very politely to her so many times. Of course my mum will deny it because she has no mirror to reflect upon herself. In fact for the first month she was here, she will tell me not to get irritated with mum coz she's old already. So wat does my brother know? Nothing except bad stories from my mum who loves to play the victimised party as always. Always her so wronged by others.

Anycase my brother was calling my maid stupid since mum is back sg and don't know how to do things her own way. The problem is he DoEs NOT know it was mum who scold her so much n complain to me maid is stubborn if she even dare tell mum that I give her different instructions.  I did tell the maid at the beginning to learn from mum thinking mum would teach her but of course my mum never teaches her properly. So if my maid do things own way, she's stubborn, if she follow mum she is stupid? Wat fucking logic is that? I tell him how I know wat mum teach her? She likes to override my instructions. I have seen it so many times myself but I didn't want to pick a fight everyday so I just let it slide. Plus things like mum insist my maid to use hand to mix the sauces with the meat, my maid prefer to use spoon. My mum got upset and complain to me when I walk into kitchen that my maid is stubborn. I told mum later in private that the maid is not wrong to use spoon since it's more hygienic. Plus she do housework what if she didn't wash her hands properly and touch my food? So I support her using spoon. Mum won't happy of course. 

I see no point in talking sense to my brother. So I said fine. I had already told my maid to ignore wat mum taught her anycase. She just wanted to verify with me sometimes before she change. I dont see wat is wrong with that. 

My mum would complain my CL left a bag of herbs without telling her wat they are or wat to do. Then she hersel left a big bag of herbs n never leave instructions either. When I text her wat are they and how to use, again she just say "oh that bag is cheap stuff your CL bought. Mine are fresh n better" it's like talking to a fucking wall. I ask u wat are they n how to use, never ask you which is the one u bought. 

Also, my maid steam broccoli my mum apparently told her she cannot do that must stir fry. When my maid bought this fish to cook my mum also scold her say I don't eat this fish (which we did n I quite like it)

My mum would also be the one who refill my thermal flask every day n night. Then one day I discover the thermal flask water was not Boiled. I asked mum if she was the one who filled the flask. She hesitatingly said yes n when I told her wat happen, her immediate response was " no it wasn't me, it's your maid" I kept quiet. She turn around n went to call my maid and "told her your mistake" my maid was like "huh? When did I boil water?" I didn't even want to expose my mum. For that day my mum was like "best fren" with my maid joking n chatting with her...after making her the patsy. 

Before she left, she insisted on giving my boy red packet. I was like don't need but she insisted that its for him to buy shoes and its chinese customs. I hate all these BO liao customs. I open the red packet and she gave like freaking HK$2000. I was like huh? Wtf? Why so much? 

I try to return her the money but she refused. I told her I will take hk500 but she was like no no must insist on the 2000. I told her she's not working n no reason to waste so much money and plus give so much only give us pressure that we must return her the same big sum later. She refused of course. Just so irritating. I told her my in laws will just give token sum and we are use to that style. Why must everything revolve round giving big lump of money? So stressful. In the end she took back 1000 only after I say I will go back CNY. Need to think about that... 

Even like when she went to our HK relatives house, she must give red packet before she left coz she say never bring anything over and stun my relatives so much. On my hubby side, everyone is big family n close knitted n eating together is a family affair but mum has to bring her "money" concept to everything. Plus this meal was to welcome mum n to thank my hubby for his lunch treat for my boy 100 days. So it's like a reciprocal thank u but mum of course don't get it. She will never get it since she basically fall out with almost every single relatives we have. Always my uncle or my aunt fault. Strangely my bro will side with her too on this. I was like hello? One aunt fell out with her on holiday coz mum thinks my aunt looks down on her "no money" and so my mum started quarrelling with her n my cousin step in and ask my mum "why r u shouting at my mum?" My mum got offended even more n say the daughter gang up on her. I was like please, any daughter in general seeing someone yelling at her mum will first response defend own mum right? Even when I disagree with you most of the time but if someone yell at u I would also defend u first right?!! So because of "her pride" she cut off her sister completely. Crazy right even after 10 years. She forgot how my aunt would used to call us n even send many toys to me from the states like smurf cabbage patch kid etc. mum never rem good things people do always the bad stuff.

Another thing that pissed me off was just before she left, my cousin was in HK n wanted to visit the baby n we arrange to come at 2pm. That's when baby will be awake after feeding n good mood. Just nice before he nap. I told mum to go meet her at ifc and take the mini bus back since I can't go fetch my cousin. The whole morn she insists that must bring my cousin to eat dumpling soup coz they always want to eat but dunno where. 

I told her don't bother. She's a grown adult in uni and travelling with bf. With Internet n guide book she knows where to eat. Mum act all bossy and say "she dunno one! I watch her grow up so I tell you she dunno where to go." I silently text my cousin "u need mum to take u go eat dumpling soup first?" 

My cousin wrote back immediately and say no no! They have a list of places they want to try n they will settle own lunch. So I told mum "she say don't need. People already adult told u they know how to plan" mum kept quiet. 

She left on time about 1pm to fetch them. She say she want to walk around first. I waited at home till 3pm+ n I had no choice to put baby to sleep at 2.30Pm. My cousin text me To say they are at dumpling soup place as my mum"want" to eat there. Bloody hell. 

So when they come, I woke the baby to feed so he can play with cousin . My

Mum showed them the apartment n my rooftop God knows for fuck why and I was told 10mins later after I woke my baby from his slumber my cousin need to leave. U know how fucking piss I was? 

First u mess up my plans by insisting on the fucking dumpling place. Then u didn't tell me they have to rush off n I woke my cranky baby for nothing. My cousin came to visit the baby not apartment viewing. What's wrong with you??? I repeat, my cousin asked to see the baby, not visit u.  So again my mum pissed me off with her "I must do things my way" with no consideration for others.

Of course there was this tomato incident. I don't even want to go there. 

Well. My brother thinks my maid is some evil troublemaker that mum seems to

Suffer under while she's here.  We shall see when my in laws come. If my in law has no issues with my maid then it only proves once again my mum IS the one that is nitpicking. 

The other day my HK relative came to visit baby n she was having difficult putting her shoes without undoing the strap. My maid saw and she just automatically move forward to help wear the shoe for my relative (she's relatively old now) . This kind of thing cannot fake one I think n she don't earn any bonus points trying to Impress my relative

And my mum likes to tell fibs and create trouble. For a few times she cause me n my hubby to quarrel or almost quarrel. Example: I told my mum to ask my hubby to come feed the baby as I need to pump. She took the baby with her while I prepare the poo diaper change.  She come back without a word. I waited for 10 mins after changing nappy n ask mum where's my hubby? She said oh he's busy. I was like busy with what? Mum say oh don't disturb him lah. That's why mothers are the greatest blah blah n her story of how my dad never help. I have no patience to listen and so I rush to feed the baby n off to pump. 

Just as I finished my hubby came in n ask "u finish feeding? I thought I'm feeding him?" I was almost angry n snapped that my mum went to call him n he said he wasn't free! My hubby was like shock n said "I never said that!!!! U know I will def come if u need help. Ur mum just carry the baby walk into the room n say "oh see wat ur daddy is doing" I just look up at her n ask her yes? She just walked out. So my mum just took it into her hands that my hubby don't have to help n then LIE to me that my hubby say he's busy. 

Another LIE. When she first came she keep questioning my milk supply n in her head thinking because I don't have engorement (anymore) I must not have milk. I had told her to shut up on this point before and then she keep trying to cook things I don't eat n then say " u must eat to increase milk supply coz your CL say u not enuff milk" 

Now, my CL will never n has never said things like that to me. She has always been encouraging n assure me I have enough. So I asked my CL n she was shocked n exclaimed she has never said such things to my mum!!! See what I mean by my mum being a pot stirrer n full of shit?

Another lie was she keep complaining my CL use instant sauce but she will quietly use instant sauce herself like the sweet and sour pork sauce. She knows I hate her using those chicken powder that she puts in soup and so she thinks she puts in different bottle I will not know. I just keep throwing out and so she cannot make her "chciken" soup like normal people do without adding synthetic stuff into it. Worse was I caught her opne the packet sauce and left it in the cupboard with half packet left. WTF? In 36 degrees u dont fridge it because u fear getting caught out in your lie but u rather risk giving me food posioning with sauce that is not refrigerated after opening? What is wrong with you?!!! In the end I tell her dont cook at all. I cant even trust my own mum when it comes to food prep and she will complain about my maid not cleaning the fish well so she refuse to eat. I tasted the fish and it tasted fine. Plus its the fish monger who remove the inside not her. Why blame the maid? And finally i snap at my mum and say to her "You think you everyday eat hawker center those people clean your food very cleanly meh? I dont see you stop eating outside if "unclean food" disgust you so much" She kept quiet of course. 

Plus she is such a superstitious person it annoys me to no end. You know how baby will start to play saliva bubbles and drool when they get older as part of teething process? So I put a bib round him one day to prevent him dirtying his clothes and it helps that he doesnt stick his fingers into the mouth when the bib is in place. Suddenly one day my mum accusingly reprimand me saying "It's all your fault that he drool so much." I was like huh? What did I do? She continued "Who ask you put a bib round his neck the other day and that is why he starts to drool. Now u trying to make me feel like a bad mouth with your STUPID ILLOGICAL ideas? Retaining all these rubbish theories.  What planet do u come from???

People dont get why my mum upsets me so much and this is just a snippet of what I have to go thru daily for 2 months. She just wants her way and if her way works i dont mind but it doesnt. She has a head full of nonsense and backward or illogical thinking and expect me to follow them. She doesnt even rem how to change a diaper properly and she wants to teach me? 

I rem she was giving sideline commentary etc about how I'm not changing my diaper "correctly" in her eyes and I got fed up and told her u think u so good u try. She made a MESS out of it and 10mins still couldnt get it right. I had to take ovr and finish in 2 mins. Only then she said "oh u made it look so easy." I just bite back my tongue from saying that so u admit u been sprouting rubbish from the sidelines for weeks?? When I ask her feed the baby once..it was nitemare causing my baby such distress and wet his clothes completely and I never ask her to feed again. Oh she blame me too for that saying its my fault I didnt screw the cap properly. 

I dont even want to go into other details because its so tiring even trying to recall them. It suffice that my mum creates more friction when she is here and it was only the last week when she was leaving that she became more useful though she still like to hide in the kitchen and waste hours in there. Again, I dont even want to go into details as to what she does in there that annoys me. 

The final point is that we don't miss her because she hasn't been much help with the baby.. She always try to put him to sleep when we say not time yet n goes against our wishes n so in the end we don't let her carry when we don't want him to Sleep. Eventually we only ask her to carry because it's to satisfy her not because we need her to. To the point that her departure didn't even cost a dent in our routine and in fact I sleep so much better without my mum making so much noise in the kitchen at 5+-6am. She just do not know how to be quiet. Now I can sleep till past 7.30am till baby wakes. Glorious

If only it wasnt true...

Recently  I received a bombshell from my good old fren and it wasnt a news I wanted to hear.

For months now, I have had a premonition and vibe that something doesnt seem right about my fav couple and I even told my man that I have a nagging fear that they might have done the unthinkable. My man told me there's nothing much I could do, esp all the way from HK and since its a personal thing, all we can do is wait for them to spring any updates on us.

I felt uneasy but my man was right. There really isnt anything I can do, since my last heart to heart talk with my gf on my last trip back to Sg, which is like a year ago. All I can do is wait but that's the thing about instinct, u cant shake them off.

Today my gf texted me to do a favor for her.
I said ok and as I was chatting with her via text, I updated her on the latest news on my newborn and she said she has news to share too.

My first response was "i hope its not what I feared."
She said " What do u think it is"
I told her "I dont want to guess. Just tell me."
Seriously, NO ONE WANTS to guess bad news.

She wrote back "We separated"
Ok, the bombshell dropped and while shocking, it didnt surprise me since I had that nagging feeling for months.

I told her we are sad about it, but I respect the fact that she must have thought about it before acting on it and ask her if she was ok. Of course, being such an old fren of mine, I told her if she needed to talk about it, I'm happy to call her but I will not ask her any questions because I dont want to be a hassle, or probe into her privacy like a KPO. I told her if I dont ask further isnt because I dont care, but rather I respect her space and need for privacy, though I told her I do have a million whys but I will let her tell me in good time when she is ready.

I asked if she was ok.
She said she is fine but not her husband.

I'm not surprised.
They have been together for over 2 decades, it cannot be easy.

When I shared the news with my man, he was pretty sad about the outcome too. We are hoping that they will reconcile...but since my last conversation with her...the outcome seemed irreversible though both are still seemingly amicable towards each other.

The last I rem, the trigger point was the fact that the MIL was pushing them for a baby. Her hubby was keen to have one too but she wasnt. She did try initially to consult an OB but somewhere along the line, she realised she REALLY dont want a kid. However, she knows her man does and she thot it wasnt fair for her to hang on to him if she cannot give him what he wants

I told her to think about it because I dont think he will leave her just because he like to have a baby, after 20 years+ of marriage, this is the sort of thing that you talk about in the early years of marriage. I cant imagine anyone splitting up in the good old vintage years of life over this issue. Of course the other issue they had was that he was away on long projects overseas and she said she had gotten used to him not being around. That was something I have no answer for.

My life motto, and something I learnt from my breakup with my ex, is that you dont live apart from each other for over a year and expect your relationship to remain unchanged. Whether it's marriage or relationship, long distance can often be a killer. It's not always about 3rd party, but distance does cause drift because either party can form a new social life, lifestyle without the other person. That's why my life motto "Whereever you go, I go too." No career, no other reasons can make me stay if your partner is really who u want to be with for the rest of your life. If I'm destined to takre a crappy job or be jobless, so be it. I find emotional fulfillment more important than financial independence. Good thing I'm not an overly driven person...something that my husband joked about time to time. He sometimes commented that its a waste that I stay home and be a housewife when he knows I can do very well in many thing I want to do. Even my ex boss told me once that he thinks its a waste that I chose to "stay at home and be housewife". But the thing is, it's my choice and I'm happy with the choice I make. People like to make jokes about "oh i'm a tai tai" They seemed to think that I do nothing but live a eat, travel shop life which is further than the truth.

Sure I do travel whenever my man feels like he has enough stress at work. Other days, I busied myself running the household chores, taking care of nitty griity aspect of our lives, chase down crappy tenants, deal with stupid banks, and any paper works or stuff to help my man. I havent had a manicure for years, not a facial for a decade, havent shop for years...but I'm happy.

Now with a little one in tow, a whole new project has sprung up on me and running on sleep deficit for months...this is even more challenging to be stay at home mum than any job in the world. There is no proper break (if u discount all the hours that my man chipped in to give me sleep time). U need to be on top of the game all the time since the little one depends everything on you.

While its funny seeing the little one grow, frankly, I do miss my child free life. I wont say I would trade this or that but seriously, unless you really have the heart and soul to want to do it, having a child is really not for everyone. It does creates friction between couples because of different styles & expectations and "speed" of doing things. It will be worse if you have a difficult baby which thankfully we dont. Still, the million things u have to do for the little one is crazy not to mention the hours and sleepless days and night pumping milk and feeding the LO. It's sooo OMG. My man now "dictates" that I have to stop breastfeeding by 6 months because he doesnt want to see me being sleep deprived for so long and not having a life of my own. It's almost sad that even grocery shopping can be such a delicious break. Going out now is like a mini project each time, revolving round feeding time and milk pumping time... sigh... I feel like there is an invisible chain tying me home.

I seriously look forward to our next first trip away. Though unfortunately we have no family member to dump our kid to for our private date nights. Now the closest "date" night is always being at home while the baby sleeps and we tiptoe out to living room to watch Tv together or something.

I wish my friends wont have split over the decision of a baby.
It's really sad....
A baby will bring u a different lifestyle, life aspect and emotions but seriously... to split from your lifetime partner over this is rather tragic decision esp after 20 years together.

I hope. I pray. That someone one will have a change of heart and they will get back together.

floating thots

It's sometimes still rather bewildering, how an educated intelligent person can have his life so ruled by superstitious belief. Before I go on, I'm not against all chinese belief. Some I would even uphold it myself such as "not stepping on burnt offerings", "challenge the unknown" etc. However, I draw the line allowing a fortune reading dictate my life.

I believe in moving forward positively in life, having a clean cut or break with people & things that are not meant to be. That's when u purge yourself of negativity n MOVE on instead of dragging feet waiting for things to happen. I have "waited" for things to happen once when I was younger and that only left me years of stagnant void emotional state that served no purpose except self punishment for no good reason. Luckily I'm a fast learner in life and told myself if I let history repeat itself twice, I am the world's biggest idiot. So I revamped my thots, worked out exactly what I will no longer compromise and what greeted me onwards are many years of laughters and happiness with the right mate. Yet there are people who are happy to be repeated fools.

If u let a slip of fortune teller slip tell u wat to do, u are in great trouble. If the slip told u that ur marriage is not to be, the notion will linger in your head and depending on the person, likely to result in detrimental results...with harboured thoughts such as "I knew it. It has been foretold" Which in turn spells less effort to make the marriage work. The power of negative subsconcious I found has a very delibitating impact on a person. Esp if the person isn't an optimist to start with. The shroud of gloom and foretold "negativity" will bound to influence his behaviour n thots.

If one day I had to make a marriage or medical choice, I would make my decision n bound my actions based on facts.

I won't say fortune telling is fraud. Far from that, I think if u meet a good one, it actually does tell u the truth of your life. But that's all it does. It TELLS you about the major milestone in your life, like a sneak preview. It doesn't alter your course in life. I'm a firm believer that how your life will pan out is predestined. It might help you come to terms with your decisions in life but I do not believe that any sane person should blindly follow a fortune teller to not act on something.

I rem a story that I heard abt this foretold fortune of a baby.
The parents were told that the child will live a life of being served, never have to
Lift a finger and he will have no worries.

The parents were happy. Anyone would hearing such great divine fortune being told.

Years later at young age, this child met with accident and was in coma. The parents were devastated n confronted the fortune teller saying he lied. But the fortune teller replied, your son was indeed served his life by nurses n care without raising a finger, and being in coma indeed meant that he had no worries. I cannot tell u in wat manner it will happen but the outcome is as predicted.

My takeaway was that u can ask your God many questions and he may attempt to answer u. However your interpretation would or may never be wat was intended because human fallacy is always to inject their own will n thots into the readings. Your life course will not change. However your attitude might.

I have lived a life generally free from my mum's indoctrination of "fortune telling" and religious belief. It's not that I believe in nothing, but rather I don't subscribe to any religion because I believe life is what YOU make out of it and it's not God that can change u, its you who can change you and overcome your own demons. A person can subscribe to a dozen gods but if inherently the attitude remained unchanged, no God can save u or undo your repeated mistakes. But if believing in a religion makes u happier n calmer then sure by all Means go ahead but the sad thing is, I have yet to see any one fully change by their faith.

Live life to the fullest with minimal regrets.
Say wat u mean and mean what u say.
Reach for the stars but plan for the worst.
Accept changes n unexpected with an open heart
If u are angry about something, spit it out in a controlled manner. Keeping silence or throwing a rampant rage solve nothing.
Most of all, disassociate yourself with all things n people who are negative. Their aura will weigh u down and zap the energy from u overtime. If u can't change them, then leave them be.

8th Jan 2015: Another one of those "I dunno it wasn't me" episode.

My mum for some reason really like to "deny" any "responsibility" at first instant. 

Was sleeping and heard a loud sound, like something dropped. Thinking it might be my wall clock, I came out to inspect to the sound origin. 

I saw my mum squatting by my bookshelf, didn't say a word. I merely ask her "wat happened? Did something drop?" 

Her first reaction was "I dunno wat happen. Your alarm clock dropped to the floor. I DIDNT touch it. I didn't go near it"

Firstly, I wasn't even accusing her of anything and secondly, it's impossible for my clock to "just drop" from the shelf without any human interventation. I saw her holding to a recipe and I figured she was either taking or putting the cook book next to the alarm clock. I just said "never mind" & went back to my room but I couldn't get back to sleep anymore.

Half hour later in the kitchen, my mum volunteered information on her own accord. "Your things like to bully me" I was like huh??? Wat on earth are u talking about? U burnt my scan pan pot, almost burnt my wmf pot, u burnt my plastic vege tray, wreaked my metal plate ( because u went to put the plate above the flame directly coz u too lazy to use a pot) and now u say my things "bully" you?!!!

I didn't reply her just smile n continue to sort my laundry for washing. Something I REFUSE to let her do because my mum is renowned for wreaking clothes since I was young and that's why I refuse to let her wash any of my clothes since I was 12yrs old. (She had no concept of doing laundry, no idea of washing whites separately from blacks & coloured, and she don't really know how to hang dry stuff because she FOLD towels into 3 layers and clip together expecting them to dry properly?!!! How to?!! It was stink coz it's not air dried properly!!) 

Anycase back to her confession. She narrated "your clock suddenly dropped. I only want to take the book but the clock fell on it's own. I wasn't even near it"

In my head, I don't understand why she wants to deny and spin a story instead of just saying "sorry I was taking the book n drop your clock by accident"

I just don't get why she couldn't come clean when no one will blame her?? I

Mean accidents happen n who cares but to pretend it wasn't her ( when it was obviously)  is just something I don't get.. 

My man commented to me the other nite, that it's very hard to imagine I'm my mum's daughter because we are so completely different in the way we think and do things. Strange. 

Mum is like a big kid at times

Apart from those occasional exasperating moments, my mum can be quite funny and like a kid sometimes.

As there are no TV program for her to watch here, I got her to Farm Heroes Saga to pass time. What started out as a game to pass time became a major addiction for her!! She can play till she forgot the time and even burnt my pot once coz she forgotten she had the flame on.

Wat was really funny was on New year eve nite. She said she was going to bed early at 11pm+. As it was close to Midnite, I Thot I might try my luck to see if my mum wants to see the fireworks. I quietly opened her bedroom door and to my surprise, my mum was squatting by the bed, in the door and staring at her phone charging away.

I asked my mum "Hey mum! I thought u were sleeping!! Wat are u doing?!!"

My mum grinned like a kid and replied "Oh I couldn't sleep coz I cannot clear the level...so I Thot I try my luck again but my phone has no more power."

I was sooo tickled!

My mum, she really is like a child. The way she gets so excited when she cleared a level
Or reached the 3 stars target!!

4th Jan 2015: Mum & her irrational belief in fortune books

Never understood my mum and her superstitious nature, in the sense that she is so blindly obsessed n caught up with all those fortune telling B.S. Her blind faith and complete utter stupid belief totally rubs me off the wrong way since I was young. It's not that I want to discredit the whole profession but I just don't believe anyone should totally believe those fortune generic books like bloody gospel n treat it like the holy doctrine that your life will end up like that for sure. When I was growing up, our place are full of rubbish fortune books from every animal horoscope to a few "HK masters". When I calculated the money she spent on those books, it can amount to at least $60++. Even at primary school, I can safely bet that's a lot of money to waste. I didn't get why my mum would say no money but waste money on rubbish like these.

I do believe that there may be some elements of truth BUT unless it's a personal consultation that actually tailor the reading based on your palm, birth hour & life, I cannot believe those stupid generic books that wants you to believe all "cows or monkeys etc" will face this & that for the year.

I can't remember wat we were talking about and my mum started to say "how accurate this fortune book is" everytime she says something ludicrous like that, I have to stop her coz I can't stand hearing stupidity. I retorted "if they are so good, why the fuck they still reading fortune instead of preventing tragedies and shit n save lives from airline disasters"

My mum said "no the book very accurate because it says this and that about you n your husband for the new year"

That irritated me more with such fucking unsubstantiated claims. So I retorted, "oh yeah? Then your supremely accurate book also say all those born in rabbit year will not pop babies in year of horse, u want me to show you how many of my rabbit gf's pop babies this year? 6 that I know of.  So what has your book got to say? So don't give me those crap theories and you should not believe blindly everything you read. Those books are a bloody waste of money. Just live your life as it is and happily lah, read those things for wat? If it's your destiny, u won't be able to change it no matter how many times u read the fortune book. "

Without any good comeback, my mum just grumbled "aiya u don't get it"

Indeed I don't get it. I don't get why u can be so gullible to waste money on books like these and treat them like gods words and so excitedly proclaim how good n accurate these books are. Did these books stop to help u? No. Did these books somehow stop your son marital woes? No. Did these books help u like your daughter in law? No. Did it improve your social or financial life? No. Did these books help improve your health? No. So wat the FUCK are these books good for???

As if this topic isn't enuff to make my blood boil, she went on to say something else (can't rem exact words), then I retorted "who say u never nag about kids? U always hint here hint there"

Then my mum exclaim and insisted "I'm very liberal n open! I never once give any of my kids any pressure!! (Yah rite. B.S)  I never once pushed u to have kids. "

The problem with me is I cannot let someone lie in my face. So I corrected my mum "u must be suffering memory loss. When I got married, u ready say aiya shod have baby, baby so cute blah blah blah"  it was to the point that it was so annoying that I have to snap back at you to leave me alone  n I'm not interested (since I can't tell u to shut the Fk up n mind your own biz. - that's wat I'm thinking in my head)

My mum insisted she has never said all that. Whatever. Old people always suffer from memory loss and selective memory retention.

I have no idea why my mum n I are like chalk n cheese. The way we see life is so different and I'm not even schooled overseas or anything. I just can't understand her irrational thots n arguments . I think she is holed up in her own world too long?

4th Jan 2015: Mum Doing unnecessary work

Woke up this morn couple of mins after my man. While I stayed in the room to read my morn news, I Thot I heard him say something to my mum. I popped my head out and saw my mum was wrapping up cleaning the bathroom. Both of us didn't know why she was wasting time and effort esp on a Sunday when my part time help will be cleaning it.

I asked my mum "why are u cleaning the toilet for? Isn't my helper here??"

My mum replied in her complaining mode "the toilet is so smelly, smell like urine! How can don't clean???? Your maid not here"

I was instantly annoyed for couple of reasons.

1. The toilet was most certainly not dirty nor smelly. I check the toilet EVERYDAY and my nose works far better than hers
2. While I was testing the detergent spray bottle last nite, I actually clean the toilet lightly once.
3. NO ONE else uses the toilet except her most of the time, and especially no MALE uses that toilet seat. So there will be NO urine spill on the seat or floor to cause any so call horrible urine smell. So I dunno wat rubbish claim she is making in her imaginative world
4. My part time help was here an hour ago and she was ironing clothes and I dun understand why my mum will tell such an obvious fib that my helper isn't here until I pointed out to her. Then she backpedal n say she didn't see her.
5. Why she always want to do housework when my helper is here and waste water twice is a mystery to me. She must always get one up against the house help as if to prove a point. Wat fucking point?? That u want to compare your competence with a house help???? Even my husband whispered to me "why is your mother cleaning the toilet esp on Sunday when the helper is here???" I rolled my eyes n replied "now u know why I say my mum pisses me off sometimes with her weird thinking"

I am asking to come here to relax, because u keep bitching and complaint about how hard u are cleaning at brother's home, that their home is ALWAYS dirty and messy and smell like urine. That no one helps u n u are always like the maid. Yet when she comes to my place, SHE will want to clean even when my place is not really that dusty nor smelly. I don't know if she just wants to earn praise, claim credit or just bored because we don't let her cook on Sunday and we cook ourselves. It's annoying because even when u give her a chance to relax, she must "find" work to do as if to prove no one else can maintain a household like hers, which incidentally her own place is messier than mine by several times because she is a hogger. I would be annoyed if she ever go back and tell my brother one day she have to clean my house coz it's dirty.

I know my mum is trying to be helpful or trying to pass time, I can deal with that. If she said she's bored or just trying to help, I would be fine. But when she justified her act with "your toilet is very dirty n smelly, then it raises a lot of questions & irritation"

Yesterday she had already annoyed me once. I had told her specifically once, NOT to move the rooftop furniture or plants in the morn when we are still sleeping because the dragging noise comes thru the floor to our bedroom ceiling. The last time she did it was 9am+. I let her go on for at least half hour before going up to see wat she was doing. I told her then about the noise and she INSISTED it wasn't her and she blamed it on construction around us. I told her I can differentiate the sound from top and outside and yet she blatantly n vehemently swear it wasn't her n she didn't move anything. Yet she later few hours later proudly told me she had to change my seat covers because one was torn. In my head, I was thinking, already said u moved the chairs and still say don't have.

Yesterday, she did it again. She was dragging something and this time I got up immediately from my
Sleep and walked straight up. I caught her red handed moving/ dragging the bloody flower pots (over 70kg) and I told her "mum stop it, we can hear u from downstairs!! "

Even with me catching her in the act, she can still deny in my face she didn't move anything!!! OMG!! She insisted she was just cutting leaves. She was still babbling her excuses but I didn't want to hear so I just turned n walked off back to my room. She stopped of course. I don't have an issue with her moving stuff but not early morning when everyone is sleeping. The rest of the day when people are awake, she will hole up to play her games. I don't get why she cannot exchange her timing???? Arrrggghhh. When I recounted the story to my man, he chuckled n said "ur mum is like a kid with her mouth covered in chocolate & still denied eating chocolate".


Anycase, I told my mum not to do anything n just go walk ard or shop outside. Forget about housework n leave it to the helper. She's finally going to go out!

27 Dec 2014: Sometimes I wish my mum isnt so stubborn....

There really is no end to my mum's stubbornness.
It irritates u more when she refuse to recognise it.

For example she bought some Australian mango.
She bought 2 and they were half green. I told her she had bought really unripe ones and will take a long while like at least a week before she can eat them. She look at me and insisted that it's ripe because she can smell it. I told her "No mum. This Australian mango is not ready. If u slice it now it will be sour." She repeated "no! Who says mango must be yellow. U dunno in singapore those still green mango are ripe?"

I have to hold my rising blood pressure n repeated "these are Australian
Mango and I hand been eating them for last 10 years. The green mango u eat in singapore are Thai mango, I dunno how they are but I'm telling u this Australian mango needs to turn orange red before u can eat. I def know Australian mango better than u since it's native fruit for my man!!"

So mum left it in the fruit bowl as I told her. Two days later, the mango scent is stronger but still 1/3 green. Stubbornly my mum put the mango in the fridge n declare it's ready. I got really fed up n took the mango out. It's not cheap n I have no intention to waste my fruit just coz she's too stubborn to listen. I told her that fridge will halt the ripening n it's not ready. She keep insisting it smells ripe n that it will be soft n soggy. I refuse to comment further.

Finally 3 days more the fruit is almost all yellow n I stuck it in the fridge.

When we cut it, it was sweet ripe n firm. My mum was like all surprised. I told her "if u had cut it when it was green, I would have to thrown my whole mango away. And the fruit was firm n
Not soggy rite?". Only then was she convinced she's not always rite.

She finally bought another one and this time is almost orange red n I told her this can go to fridge earlier since it's almost ripe. She conceded finally that not all mango are to be eaten half green.

When she bought guava, again she insisted that hard guava is ready. I told my mum it needs to give a little when pressed before guava will be sweet.  Again she brushed me off saying guava is her specialty. Since guava isn't expensive, I let her go experience her theory.  I told her to skin the guava as the skin will cause constipation while the seed will provide the fiber for bowel movement. Again she didn't believe me. She insisted skin is good. I told her u can keep your skin but I will remove mine. After trying one guava with skin on, she experienced constipation n finally conceded again she was wrong.

After 4 guava, sour ones, she blamed the shop owner bluff her. She left one to sit in fruit bowl. I left it till it has some give when u press it. She insisted that guava is spoilt but it turned out fine and was finally sweet. Instead of admitting she was wrong, she now claimed it's overripe n too soft inside n she don't like it. sigh. luckily i liked it and ate it.

She also told me she like perssimon. I told her it belongs to "Han" (寒) category but she insisted it was warm. I had to dig out this fruits n health BOOK by Taiwan nutritionist and show it to her so she will stop doubting wat i said..

I'm just so tired of correcting all her wrong notions n she's so freaking stubborn that she must do things her way, proven wrong before she will listen to other people. It's like she just don't get it that we do grow up n learn things too.

More recently, I like my mum's steam pork egg dish. I told her that I like that for lunch every day. She said she cannot understand how it is possible to eat same thing. I told her it's fine, i like it and there are other dishes to provide variety. She keep asking if she takes out pork will be better. I told her no, I don't like steam egg alone it will taste weird.

One week later, despite me refusing her offer to steam egg alone, she had to cook the steam egg today without the pork or minimal. It tasted not very nice but since it's cooked I just ate it since I don't want to waste food n assumed we ran out of pork. However, when I opened the fridge, there is was, a 3/4 full raw minced pork. I asked her why didn't she used it today then? She said oh I plan to use it tomorrow but I said but it states expires today!!! Why would u keep it for after expiry date n waste perfectly expensive good Japanese pork when u could have used it today? I was annoyed coz I know she just want to cook the steamed egg because she thinks no one can eat same dish everyday, rather than wat I wanted. It's so frustrating coz now I have to put in freezer n eat expired pork. Jesus Christ.

Then when it comes to steam fish, she keep asking me how long to steam fish. Yet she keep splitting the fish in half and plate it like in aeroplane shape. I told her many times I don't want my fish opened up like that because u are causing the fish natural juices to seep out more but she stubbornly insist on doing her own way. Finally I told her "if I want to cook your own way, then I have no comments n don't ask me how long to cook because I dunno with ur cutting style.  U want to ask me to time it then u have to keep the fish intact the way I cook it. Finally one month, she finally does it the way I steam my fish before I will answer how long to steam the fish for.

The problem with mum is that she keep thinking she is very "liberal" and open minded but she really isnt. In her own world she thinks she is very receptive but to the real people around her, she is frustratingly stubborn and while she will pay u lip service that she may agree with u, she will still secretly do things her own way until she is proven wrong. Sigh.

I dunno if all mums are so difficult or just my mum so used to getting her own way.

Sometimes she is ok esp when its unknown terriority that she is unused to and she will be more open to listen to u, but sometimes she drives me up the wall when it comes to moments that she thinks she knows best. Even my husband commented one nite to me "You mum is really stubborn." I shrugged my shoulders. What can i Say?

24th Dec : Merry Xmas!

This year, my man decided to fix up the Xmas tree since we decided not to go back Oz. Yeah!!! Finally a year without having to see irritating people!!!

At the same time, my man whipped up my fav salt bush lamb rack with a whole lot of other goodies for me and mum. Life is good!

24th Dec 2014: Arrrrgghhh

Sometimes I don't understand my mum. She really don't listen to things I tell her when it's said nicely. She will always pushed to the point that I had to snap or raised my voice before she will stop doing things I tell her not to. Arrrggghhh.

For example I was prepping food by the sink. She kept rinsing the cloth and wiping the sink (not counter top but the damn sink) dry. I told her nicely "mum leave it first coz I will still be rinising other stuff n will get wet" she don't acknowledge. I went to cut my carrots n rinising my knife and she was at it again, I told her nicely "mum later. I will wipe down after I'm Done. ". She put her used cutlery in the sink and I was in the middle of washing the mug with water splashing and she went to wipe the sink again! I got really irritated and I have to raise my voice "MUM just STOP it. I TOLD u I will wipe it after I'm finished. Why are u wasting water n effort to wipe it dry and I'm in the middle of washing n the sink will be WET?!!!! " only then she stopped.

I don't get it.
It's not the first instance that she is so stubborn. It's so vexing to talk to her sometimes.

I appreciate many things she does but sometimes, I really wish she won't make me repeat 4-5 times n pissed off before she will stop. My MIL will always get it after I tell her things 1 time but my mum.... Sigh. And people always think I'm exaggerating when I say i get along better with my in laws than my own parents.